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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

is risk important in our personal and professional life

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There is no denying the fact that each decision in our daily lives contains a certain level of risk.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that the more risk we take, the possibility of
engage
Change the form of the verb
engaging
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 in wrong actions will be doubled, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that it is vital to take a certain amount of risks in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
To begin
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 with, there is a financial principle
Correct word choice
that state
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state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
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 that “ the more risk you take, the more return you will receive”.
In other words
Linking Words
, as you increase the level of uncertainty and try new things you will get
a higher advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher advantage
higher advantages
show examples
.
For example
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, if someone
try
Change the verb form
tries
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 to engage in risky sports he may be injured but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 he will gain a variety of skills
such
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 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
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 self-confidence, discipline and
patient
Replace the word
patience
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, exploring new things will open the door
of
Change preposition
to
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 developing your personality
effciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
. Another point to consider, taking a high level of
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
 may cause
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
severe issues that have a negative influence on our success. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that a firm
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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enter
Correct subject-verb agreement
enters
show examples
 several investments to maximize
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 profit
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more likely to face
bankrupcy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
.
For instance
Linking Words
, entering a variety of
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
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 to gain financial returns will affect a firm’s performance negatively. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that taking risks can benefit us in some eras
however
Linking Words
 we have to take
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 wisely so that we maintain our success

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are not just introduced but thoroughly supported with detailed arguments or examples. This will make your essay more persuasive and help maintain reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the logical structure of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and use linking words to connect ideas logically.
introduction
The essay opens with a clear introduction, presenting the topic and the author's stance effectively. This sets a strong foundation for the argument.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's opinion, providing a satisfying closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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