Some people think that people can use animals for the benefit of humans. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #animals #benefit #humans #practice

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Animals

Use synonyms

are an important part of our lives. Some members of the public believe that they have the right to attack

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

there

Correct word choice

but there

show examples

is an ongoing debate regarding whether to

use

Use synonyms

animals

Use synonyms

for their needs or whether think

this

Linking Words

practice is wrong.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both

perspictives

Correct your spelling

perspectives

while

Linking Words

presenting my opinion which supports the idea of not using

animals

Use synonyms

for unnecessary stuff. On the one hand, some humans have a point of view for using other creaturs to get what they want.

In some

Change preposition

Some

show examples

areas have extremely cold weather that they can not handle

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

for instance

Linking Words

, people in cold countries wear leathers and furs from mammals to keep them warm .

Moreover

Linking Words

, a few cosmetics companies

use

Use synonyms

specific

animals

Use synonyms

for their tests. One clear example is, they

use

Use synonyms

rabbits to test their products on them to see if it is suitable for humans or not as they do not care if it is dangerous to the animal.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, different people think it is definitely not essential to

use

Use synonyms

animals

Use synonyms

because it has a lot of downsides.

Linking Words

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

, it will affect the environment negatively.

For example

Linking Words

, the food chain will break down as the amount of

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

reduce

Change the verb form

reduces

show examples

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, we have plenty of natural resources other than

animls

Correct your spelling

animals

to get our benefit from.

In other words

Linking Words

cottons

Change the wording

cotton

kinds of cotton

pieces of cotton

show examples

are the most suitable fabric to make clothes, they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

make us warm and

cozy

Change the spelling

cosy

show examples

without hurting anyone.

To conclude

Linking Words

, we could say that people have

differents

Correct your spelling

different

show examples

thoughts about

this

Linking Words

argument. In my point of

view

Add a comma

view,

show examples

it is totally wrong to

use

Use synonyms

animals

Use synonyms

for useless things.

Submitted by farahmansoor401 on Tue Jan 07 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General

Ensure all main points in the essay are supported with clear examples or specific details to reinforce your argument.

Introduction

Write a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your stance more explicitly.

General

Avoid repetitiveness; strive for clarity and succinctness in expressing your main points and the critique of those.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a fair discussion of both perspectives which ensures a balanced response fitting to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion are presented which help in framing the essay neatly.

Cohesion

Good attempt to use linking words such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For example', contributing to the coherence of the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people think that people can use animals for the benefit of humans. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Throughout history, male leaders often made society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience.do you think public speaking skill is really important?should students be taught public speaking at school?

Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phones. Despite this, many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom. To what extent do you agree ar disagree?

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?