Some people think that people can use animals for the benefit of humans. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Animals
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are an important part of our lives. Some members of the public believe that they have the right to attack
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals
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,
there
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but there
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is an ongoing debate regarding whether to
use
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animals
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for their needs or whether think
this
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practice is wrong.
This
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essay will examine both
perspictives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
while
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presenting my opinion which supports the idea of not using
animals
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for unnecessary stuff. On the one hand, some humans have a point of view for using other creaturs to get what they want.
In some
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Some
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areas have extremely cold weather that they can not handle
it
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apply
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.
for instance
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, people in cold countries wear leathers and furs from mammals to keep them warm .
Moreover
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, a few cosmetics companies
use
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specific
animals
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for their tests. One clear example is, they
use
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rabbits to test their products on them to see if it is suitable for humans or not as they do not care if it is dangerous to the animal.
On the other hand
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, different people think it is definitely not essential to
use
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animals
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because it has a lot of downsides.
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Further more
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Furthermore
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, it will affect the environment negatively.
For example
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, the food chain will break down as the amount of
animal
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animals
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reduce
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reduces
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.
Nevertheless
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, we have plenty of natural resources other than
animls
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animals
to get our benefit from.
In other words
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,
cottons
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cotton
kinds of cotton
pieces of cotton
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are the most suitable fabric to make clothes, they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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make us warm and
cozy
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cosy
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without hurting anyone.
To conclude
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, we could say that people have
differents
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different
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thoughts about
this
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argument. In my point of
view
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view,
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it is totally wrong to
use
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animals
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for useless things.
Submitted by farahmansoor401 on

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General
Ensure all main points in the essay are supported with clear examples or specific details to reinforce your argument.
Introduction
Write a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your stance more explicitly.
General
Avoid repetitiveness; strive for clarity and succinctness in expressing your main points and the critique of those.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a fair discussion of both perspectives which ensures a balanced response fitting to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are presented which help in framing the essay neatly.
Cohesion
Good attempt to use linking words such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For example', contributing to the coherence of the essay.
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