The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The network permits
people
Use synonyms
to get in touch easily each other in any place they are.
Also
Linking Words
, it keeps away from society. I agree with
this
Linking Words
notion and
arguments
Correct article usage
the arguments
show examples
will elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
with, in the contemporary world using from
Internet
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as social applications which WhatsApp,
Instagram
Correct word choice
and Instagram
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is increasing dramatically in public
thus
Linking Words
,
Instead
Linking Words
of meeting face to face
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
communicate with social applications.
As a result
Linking Words
. evolution of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
makes
easier
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's communication.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
live far from their family
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
miss their natives
this
Linking Words
is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for them almost
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
not
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
any payment
for connecting
Change preposition
to connect
show examples
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
other. They are able to
conversation
Replace the word
converse
show examples
no matter
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
are.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
has some drawbacks one of them is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
, physical presence of
people
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
people
Use synonyms
tend to
anti-
Verb problem
have
show examples
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
life. They make
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
remotely. In the previous
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
went out to meet with each other, they gathered and
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gossip
Wrong verb form
gossiped
show examples
but, nowadays we can not see
Linking Words
this situations
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
. In conclusion, the
internet
Use synonyms
can provide
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
with many options
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
can lead to some negative approaches
that
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can cause
people
Use synonyms
to become more isolated from society.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to strengthen the logical flow between your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one to the other, maintaining logical connections.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your main points to fully support your arguments. This will help clarify your ideas and provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Using examples from your own experiences can make your essay more relatable and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which clearly presents your stand on the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view of how the internet connects and isolates people.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: