Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
different parts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society have additional
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
on
such
Linking Words
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
things. As an example of
this
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
think that
parents
Use synonyms
have to teach toddlers to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
people
Use synonyms
,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
prefer to rely on the
school
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
case. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
school
Use synonyms
gives every student an opportunity to know all of the basic things about the world and
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
variety of knowledge.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
we have to take into account that
school
Use synonyms
does not provide us with
such
Linking Words
a lessons
Correct the article-noun agreement
lessons
a lesson
show examples
about being a good member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
School
Use synonyms
and its staff definitely will pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
each
students
Change noun form
student's
show examples
behaviour and communication between
same aged
Add a hyphen
same-aged
show examples
kids. In the end teacher won’t deal with the student in case of his unpleasant behaviour, they will involve the
parents
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. The
school
Use synonyms
will provide its
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
with the basics ,
such
Linking Words
as safety and plain manners stuff ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
be as detailed and deep as children might need. From
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
perspective
parents
Use synonyms
have to teach their toddlers , showing it even
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their example.
Parents
Use synonyms
have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
authority
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
their kids , so in
this
Linking Words
case it might be more effective than at the
school
Use synonyms
. We have to consider that each family is unique and not similar form the other one, kids have to grow in behaviour which example was given
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
from the earliest age. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
a kid
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to go to
school
Use synonyms
and be ready to communicate and give a good impression of themselves as
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a kind and good person. At
Use synonyms
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
they are usually teaching all the
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
things which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
already familiar to the toddler.
Parents
Use synonyms
are the
people
Use synonyms
who have to teach their offspring from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
early age how to be a good member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by urbanskavalery on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and addresses both perspectives. However, more specific examples and evidence would further strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve paragraph transitions with linking words or phrases to enhance cohesion and guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a general overview but lacks a strong thesis statement. A clearer thesis would improve focus.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your viewpoint, bringing the essay to a logical close.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: