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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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These days, some
people
Use synonyms
 hold the view that receiving
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad
situation
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
an unsoatisfactiory
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unsoatisfactiory
Correct your spelling
unsatisfactory
jod pr
Correct your spelling
job or
 shortage of money is the best choice, but others support that
people
Use synonyms
 should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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try to
change
Use synonyms
 the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 should not only
receive
Verb problem
accept
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 the
situation
Use synonyms
 which we
faced
Wrong verb form
face
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fuction
Correct your spelling
way
 to make some
change
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 accepting the bad
situation
Use synonyms
 means they have the courage to face the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
worst surroundings. They can not
change
Use synonyms
 the bad
Use synonyms
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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sometimes
such
Linking Words
 as students
fail in
Wrong verb form
failing
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 the exam, adults
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
and people
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due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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accidents become to the
dissabled
Correct your spelling
disabled
. These situations are likely to happen to everyone, the
situationdon
Correct your spelling
situation
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 if it
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
. If
people
Use synonyms
 accept it, they will become more and more optimistic.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
try to improve the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
,
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can find more
fuction
Correct your spelling
functions
 to solve the problems. Meanwhile,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 get some new skills
such
Linking Words
 as
commucation
Correct your spelling
communication
 skills, teamwork skills
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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 problems and so on. They can improve your self-confidence by improving their abilities. They can move
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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fast from
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 bad
situation
Use synonyms
. In my view,
people
Use synonyms
 should accept the bad
situation
Use synonyms
 quickly and find the best
way
Use synonyms
 to solve the problems.
For instance
Linking Words
,When my first business failed, I felt low in willpower, and I quickly recovered from the adversity, looking for some
way
Use synonyms
 to make up for it and make my
situation
Use synonyms
 better.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 a little difficult, it can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to improve themselves. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
should be
Verb problem
on
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 both sides assert their reasonable arguments. It will be
diffculity
Correct your spelling
difficult
difficulty
 for each other, but
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can improve
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all kinds of abilities and confidence to
meet
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a better future.
Submitted by 13230556086 on

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure you are addressing all parts of the prompt with more depth. Provide more detailed analysis or examples to support your opinions.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear paragraphing to separate distinct points or sections of your ideas. This will enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion
You've structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You've provided examples from your own experience, which helps illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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