IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days, some
people
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 hold the view that they should receive a bad situation in their daily lives,
such
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 as they
work
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 in an unsatisfactory job or they earn a shortage of money. But other
people
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 believe that they should try to improve
such
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 situations. In my opinion, I agree with the latter point,
people
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 should create a better working and living environment by themselves. On the one hand,
people
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 have a try to challenge all kinds of difficulties which they meet in their
work
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of
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apply
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life, it is a good way to help them stay active. As far as we all know, there are more and more
people
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 who often make a bad decision in their career, even some
people
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 lose all their money,
however
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, they do not lose confidence to solve problems,and
alot
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a lot
failure
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fail
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 at
work
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 or school of
people
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 can rebuild their career in the future.
In addition
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, when
people
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 want to do something to change their bad situation, they will improve all kinds of abilities,
such
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 as teamwork abilities, communication skills, problem-solving abilities and more. These skills can help
people
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 build self-esteem, it is a good action to keep calm and get a sense of peace to meet failure at
work
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 or school. In
this
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 condition, it is so popular and common that
people
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 usually meet some difficulties and problems in their daily lives.
People
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 should be encouraged and taught
to
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apply
show examples
how to face challenges and solve problems. It is a wonderful way to make our nation have a better future.

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task achievement
Try to provide clear examples to support your arguments. This gives your points more weight and helps the reader understand your perspective better.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your ideas. Use linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce both sides of the argument in your introduction and provide a well-rounded conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You express a clear personal opinion, which is an important element of task response.
task achievement
You effectively discuss the benefits of taking action to improve difficult situations, which is a strong point in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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