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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart demonstrate the cause of worldwide land degradation as well as the table illustrates the causes of land being less productive in thee different regions North America, Europe and ocean during 1990.

The pie chart demonstrate the cause of worldwide land degradation as well as the table illustrates the causes of land being less productive in thee different regions North America, Europe and ocean during 1990.
#land #degradation #regions #america #europe #ocean
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Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that overgrazing is the main
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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 cultivated area
degradation
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 Europe is the
reason
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 High
degradation
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 North America has
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
degradation
Use synonyms
 of
land
Use synonyms
. A
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
 examination of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart reveals people are using cultivated
land
Use synonyms
 to Graze their
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 and it is the main
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Less productivity with 35%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
deforestation
Use synonyms
 is another alarming cause with a
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of 30 for soil fertility destruction.
Similarly
Linking Words
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation is 28% responsible for
Use synonyms
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
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 in soil productivity.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 other various
Use synonyms
reason
Change the wording
reasons
show examples
 have
7
Correct article usage
a 7
show examples
% contribution in
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
. From the
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Europe is the
reason
Use synonyms
 with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
 and
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
 that has
degrade
Change the form of the verb
degraded
show examples
 the
land
Use synonyms
 by 9.8% and 7.7% respectively,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 overgrazing is below the ocean
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
causing
5.5
Correct article usage
a 5.5
show examples
%
decline
Use synonyms
 in
land
Use synonyms
perductivity
Correct your spelling
productivity
. In
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overgrazing is the highest 11.3% in comparison to North America and Europe. In
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
 there was
deforestation
Use synonyms
 has
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
1.7
Correct article usage
a 1.7
show examples
%
decline
Use synonyms
 in
land
Use synonyms
 fertility.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
North
Change preposition
in North
show examples
 America
deforestation
Use synonyms
 has
Use synonyms
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 fertility by 0.2% and 3.3% of
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation
also
Linking Words
 1.5% of overgrazing.
Submitted by anjubashyal39 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reason, degradation, land, deforestation, decline with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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