The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays without
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
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noticing clearly,
music
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plays a vital role in our
lifes
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lives
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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for
Change preposition
in
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alleviating
stress
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.
However
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, the downbreaks of
music
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should
also
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be considered. I partly agree with these statements. In
this
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essay, I will explain the usage of
music
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in beneficial ways and the disagreement towards using
music
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. On the one hand,
music
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can be used in various types of exercises.
For example
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, joining yoga classes every
weekends
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weekend
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.
Moreover
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, yoga was found to be a safe exercise and potentially support cardiovascular disease.
This
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will be more beneficial if
include
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includes
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soothing and relaxing
music
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for participants to manage their internal
stress
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. In my country,
people
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enjoy doing yoga at the park with diverse age groups
every
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apply
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early in the morning. Not forget to mention, the instructor put out wind-like
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music
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to control the group movements.
Thus
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,
music
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plays a significant role in managing
stress
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level
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levels
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and
choregraphy
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choreography
.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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thinking
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think
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that
music
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is not
their
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on their
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top list
solutions
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of solutions
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to make their
stress
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manageable.
For instance
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, some
people
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might need
a
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apply
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complete peace and only
a
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the
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sound of
natural
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nature
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is acceptable for them during their leisure
times
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time
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. These
people
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could be
whom
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who
show examples
are living in a busy city and seeking a piece of quietness to mend their psychological well-being. In my own experience, after a busy work
together with
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sound pollution in a busy city, I personally
seeking
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seek
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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natural sounds and sceneries after living in
chaotic
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a chaotic
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life.
Therefore
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, there are certain circumstances where
music
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is not the perfect getaway stressor. In conclusion,
music
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can come in handy if
using
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used
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at the right place
while
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some
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in some
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situations
music
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is better
off
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apply
show examples
.
In addition
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, good
music
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often touches souls.
Submitted by aunibasyeerah on

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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structures to enhance the clarity of your ideas. Avoid small grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and plural forms, to make your writing more polished.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in achieving a more persuasive and comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical progression of ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure that each point flows smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
introduction
The introduction effectively presents the main issue and the writer's stance, setting a clear direction for the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion and gives a final point on the role of music in stress management.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by addressing both the benefits and limitations of music for stress relief, which shows depth in task achievement.
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