In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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this

Linking Words

era of technology, learning new things being a young one is not

difficult

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a difficult

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situation.

However

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, motivating a

child

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by their

guardiens

Correct your spelling

guardians

in some societies

help

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helps

show examples

them to

take

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make

show examples

efforts

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effort

show examples

to get anything.

Although

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

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message has

numerious

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numerous

benefits, it is not an inclination without drawbacks. Both are elaborated

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on in

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upcoming paragraphs. To start with the merits, Buiding

confidence

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consider

Wrong verb form

is considered

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

significant advantage of

this

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trend, because

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apply

show examples

encourging

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encouraging

child

Use synonyms

for achieving

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to achieve

show examples

their goal

enhance

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhances

show examples

the

confidence

Use synonyms

of a

child

Use synonyms

upper

Correct article usage

an upper

show examples

level. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, when the parents motivate a

child

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it not only

build

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builds

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

for doing

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to do

show examples

a particular work but

also

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determine

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determines

show examples

the teenager to do

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

For Example

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, it is seen that in some

compitions

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competitions

compilations

if their parents

told to

Wrong verb form

tell

show examples

their

child

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that

you

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can do it and boost their

confidence

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speak

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speaking

show examples

some

qoutes

Correct your spelling

quotes

, like hip

hip

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hop

show examples

hurray, helps the

child

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to win that

compition

Correct your spelling

competition

Thus

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, giving

children

Use synonyms

a motivation

for

Change preposition

show examples

gain anything has put a high impact on a

yougster

Correct your spelling

youngster

On the other hand

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along with

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its

advantageous

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advantages

show examples

also

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has some demerits, which cannot be overlooked, all

children

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do have equal potential to do

same

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the same

show examples

thing. Telling

children

Use synonyms

to do

that thing

Correct your spelling

something

show examples

which is impossible for them

also

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put

Verb problem

has

show examples

wrong

Correct article usage

a wrong

show examples

impact on their

life

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lives

show examples

. To

Substatiate

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Substantiate

it, Some

children

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has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

good

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studies, but not

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Sports.

However

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, if their

guardiens

Correct your spelling

guardians

guardian

told them to win that particular sport

Correct your spelling

show examples

demotivate a

child

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if they

not

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do not

did not

show examples

win it. So, it

has discourage

Wrong verb form

discourages

show examples

child

Use synonyms

and

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also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

has

Correct article usage

a negtive

show examples

negtive

Correct your spelling

negative

effect on their study.

To Sum Up

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, Giving a motivational message to take

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

by their parents has

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

their

confidence

Use synonyms

level,

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

also

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effect

Verb problem

affects

show examples

their own potential if they

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

complete it.

Hence

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, Seniors need to encourage their

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

by thinking

bout

Correct your spelling

about

show examples

their

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

ravinderkaur0991Thu Jan 09 2025

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Language

Enhance the variety of vocabulary used to make ideas clearer and more engaging.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop stronger transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points further.

Task Achievement

You have successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essays are structured with clear introductions and conclusions.

Task Achievement

You present multiple perspectives on the topic, which enriches the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. why is this happening? is this a positive or negetive development?

Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.