In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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this

Linking Words

era of technology, learning new things being a young one is not

difficult

Add an article

a difficult

show examples

situation.

However

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, motivating a

child

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by their

guardiens

Correct your spelling

guardians

in some societies

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to get anything.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

message has

numerious

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numerous

benefits, it is not an inclination without drawbacks. Both are elaborated

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on in

show examples

upcoming paragraphs. To start with the merits, Buiding

confidence

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consider

Wrong verb form

is considered

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

significant advantage of

this

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trend, because

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apply

show examples

encourging

Correct your spelling

encouraging

child

Use synonyms

for achieving

Change preposition

to achieve

show examples

their goal

enhance

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhances

show examples

the

confidence

Use synonyms

of a

child

Use synonyms

upper

Correct article usage

an upper

show examples

level. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, when the parents motivate a

child

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it not only

build

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builds

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

for doing

Change preposition

to do

show examples

a particular work but

also

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determine

Change the verb form

determines

show examples

the teenager to do

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

For Example

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, it is seen that in some

compitions

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competitions

compilations

if their parents

told to

Wrong verb form

tell

show examples

their

child

Use synonyms

that

you

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can do it and boost their

confidence

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speak

Change the verb form

speaking

show examples

some

qoutes

Correct your spelling

quotes

, like hip

hip

Correct your spelling

hop

show examples

hurray, helps the

child

Use synonyms

to win that

compition

Correct your spelling

competition

Thus

Linking Words

, giving

children

Use synonyms

a motivation

for

Change preposition

show examples

gain anything has put a high impact on a

yougster

Correct your spelling

youngster

On the other hand

Linking Words

along with

Linking Words

its

advantageous

Replace the word

advantages

show examples

also

Linking Words

has some demerits, which cannot be overlooked, all

children

Use synonyms

do have equal potential to do

same

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the same

show examples

thing. Telling

children

Use synonyms

to do

that thing

Correct your spelling

something

show examples

which is impossible for them

also

Linking Words

put

Verb problem

has

show examples

wrong

Correct article usage

a wrong

show examples

impact on their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. To

Substatiate

Correct your spelling

Substantiate

it, Some

children

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

good

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studies, but not

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Sports.

However

Linking Words

, if their

guardiens

Correct your spelling

guardians

guardian

told them to win that particular sport

Correct your spelling

show examples

demotivate a

child

Use synonyms

if they

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

win it. So, it

has discourage

Wrong verb form

discourages

show examples

child

Use synonyms

and

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

has

Correct article usage

a negtive

show examples

negtive

Correct your spelling

negative

effect on their study.

To Sum Up

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, Giving a motivational message to take

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

by their parents has

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

their

confidence

Use synonyms

level,

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

also

Linking Words

effect

Verb problem

affects

show examples

their own potential if they

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

complete it.

Hence

Linking Words

, Seniors need to encourage their

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

by thinking

bout

Correct your spelling

about

show examples

their

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

ravinderkaur0991Thu Jan 09 2025

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Language

Enhance the variety of vocabulary used to make ideas clearer and more engaging.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop stronger transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points further.

Task Achievement

You have successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essays are structured with clear introductions and conclusions.

Task Achievement

You present multiple perspectives on the topic, which enriches the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while other think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Shopping is now one of the most famous forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What is the reason? Is it positive or negative?

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that news and media are affecting our life in a positive way while others disagree. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.