In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

era of technology, learning new things being a young one is not
difficult
Add an article
a difficult

The noun phrase difficult situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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situation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, motivating a
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by their
guardiens
Correct your spelling
guardians

If you don’t want guardiens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in some societies
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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them to
take
Correct your spelling
make

The word take doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort

It seems that efforts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to get anything.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Although. Consider removing the comma.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

message has
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous

If you don’t want numerious to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

benefits, it is not an inclination without drawbacks. Both are elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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upcoming paragraphs. To start with the merits, Buiding
confidence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consider
Wrong verb form
is considered

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb consider. Consider changing it.

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the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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significant advantage of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend, because
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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encourging
Correct your spelling
encouraging

If you don’t want encourging to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a
child
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for achieving
Change preposition
to achieve

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their goal
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances

It seems that the verb enhance does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the
confidence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of a
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at
upper
Correct article usage
an upper

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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level. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, when the parents motivate a
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it not only
build
Change the verb form
builds

The verb build does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun confidence in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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confidence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

child
Correct article usage
the child

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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for doing
Change preposition
to do

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a particular work but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

determine
Change the verb form
determines

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb determine are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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the teenager to do
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work

If you don’t want hardwork to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
For Example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is seen that in some
compitions
Correct your spelling
competitions
compilations

If you don’t want compitions to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

if their parents
told to
Wrong verb form
tell

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb told to. Consider changing it.

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their
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
you
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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can do it and boost their
confidence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by
speak
Change the verb form
speaking

The verb speak may be in the wrong form after the preposition by. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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some
qoutes
Correct your spelling
quotes

If you don’t want qoutes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, like hip
hip
Correct your spelling
hop

The word hip doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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hurray, helps the
child
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to win that
compition
Correct your spelling
competition

If you don’t want compition to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, giving
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a motivation
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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gain anything has put a high impact on a
yougster
Correct your spelling
youngster

If you don’t want yougster to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

its
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages

The word advantageous doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has some demerits, which cannot be overlooked, all
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do have equal potential to do
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same thing does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
thing. Telling
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to do
that thing
Correct your spelling
something

The word that thing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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which is impossible for them
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

put
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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wrong
Correct article usage
a wrong

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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impact on their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. To
Substatiate
Correct your spelling
Substantiate

If you don’t want Substatiate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

it, Some
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
Change the verb form
have

The verb has does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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good
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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studies, but not
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Sports.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if their
guardiens
Correct your spelling
guardians
guardian

If you don’t want guardiens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

told them to win that particular sport
is
Correct your spelling
it

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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demotivate a
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

if they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not

It appears that the negative verb form not win is incorrect. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
win it. So, it
has discourage
Wrong verb form
discourages

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb has discourage. Consider changing it.

show examples
a
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

show examples
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has
Correct article usage
a negtive
show examples
negtive
Correct your spelling
negative

If you don’t want negtive to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

effect on their study.
To Sum Up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Giving a motivational message to take
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work

If you don’t want hardwork to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by their parents has
increase
Change the verb form
increased

It appears that the verb increase should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

show examples
their
confidence
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

level,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

effect
Verb problem
affects

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
their own potential if they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not

It appears that the negative verb form not complete is incorrect. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
complete it.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Seniors need to encourage their
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
by thinking
bout
Correct your spelling
about

The word bout doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
their
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities

It seems that ability may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

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Language
Enhance the variety of vocabulary used to make ideas clearer and more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop stronger transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points further.
Task Achievement
You have successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essays are structured with clear introductions and conclusions.
Task Achievement
You present multiple perspectives on the topic, which enriches the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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