The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. (Thảo)
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information
, the personal Use synonyms
information
of many Use synonyms
indivials
is held by large Correct your spelling
individuals
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companies
and organisations. In my opinion, Use synonyms
this
is quite Linking Words
convinence
to Correct your spelling
convenience
controll
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control
pupular
.
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popular
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Personal
information
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is
held by Unnecessary verb
apply
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companies
and Use synonyms
organisation
can help Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
controll
amount of Correct your spelling
control
people
in Use synonyms
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region
and migration between Correct article usage
the region
diffierence
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different
difference
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region
. Prevent Fix the agreement mistake
regions
people
not Use synonyms
have
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having
the
origin no clear and not allow migration to Correct article usage
an
this
place. Linking Words
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controlled by large Use synonyms
internet
can Use synonyms
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be searched
.
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show
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shows
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people
migrate not Change preposition
of people
clear
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clearly
is ban
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banned
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region
because the personal Add an article
the region
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not Use synonyms
know
in statis.
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known
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Large
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companies
and Use synonyms
organisation
hold Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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the person
person
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personal
information
of many individuals Use synonyms
help
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to help
they
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them
easier
access Correct word choice
apply
information
about goods, Use synonyms
product
, Fix the agreement mistake
products
introduct
employment. Deep knowledge about Correct your spelling
and
people
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job
, Add an article
a job
accomodation
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accommodation
people
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This
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is help
social development and Change the verb form
helps
imrpove
the live citizen. Correct your spelling
improves
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show that the Verb problem
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percent
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percentage of
people
not have Use synonyms
job
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a job
decrease
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decreased
about
72 percent.
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by about
internet
Use synonyms
companies
and Use synonyms
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
held
the personal Wrong verb form
hold
information
of many Use synonyms
individual
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individuals
create
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creating
the
advantages Correct article usage
apply
to
the Change preposition
for
live
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lives
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people
and Change preposition
of people
improve
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improving
quality
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the quality
system
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of system
region
.Use synonyms
Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of your essay. Consider using clearer paragraph breaks and signpost language like "Firstly," "In addition," or "To conclude."
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each of your paragraphs supports a single main idea to make the essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion further to offer a clear summary of your position.
task achievement
Make your points more relevant and specific so that they fully address the topic.
task achievement
Use more detailed examples to support your main points and enhance their relevance.
task achievement
The essay discusses some relevant ideas, such as migration control and job access.
task achievement
You attempted to argue that personal information storage improves social development and employment opportunities.
task achievement
There was an effort to introduce the topic and provide a general standpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.