Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There is no denying the fact that technology plays a crucial role
on
Change preposition
in
society
development. Change noun form
society's
While
it is a commonly held belief that smartphones particularly have a significant impact on youths, there is Linking Words
also
an argument that opposes it. In Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
disscuss
the advantages and disadvantages of digital Correct your spelling
discuss
devices
and express my opinion.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, digital gadgets can be used in a variety of uses as teenagers can decide the way of using them. Linking Words
In other words
, children can gain a number of benefits from smartphones Linking Words
such
as enhancing their Linking Words
educationall
performance. Correct your spelling
educational
For example
, joining classes in chemistry, math and physics to develop their understanding. Linking Words
Moreover
, phones have a major role in improving communication skills. It Linking Words
ease
the way to communicate with family and friends living in other countries which keeps relations stronger.
In terms of the drawbacks of smartphones, there is a direct correlation between physical and mental Change the verb form
eases
healh
and the usage of electronic Correct your spelling
health
devices
. It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that kids might be exposed to Linking Words
eyes
issues and obesity. Change the noun form
eye
In addition
, the possibility of experiencing mental issues will increase as it Linking Words
caused
anxiety, depression and stress. A recent study shows that children who use digital Wrong verb form
causes
devices
for more than 4 hours daily are exposed by 20% to Use synonyms
face
mental issues.
In conclusion, there is no easy answer to Verb problem
apply
this
question, on balance, Linking Words
however
, I firmly believe that electronic Linking Words
devices
have several features Use synonyms
as well as
drawbacks, children must Linking Words
to
learn how to manage their usage of gadgets wisely and Change the verb form
apply
get
Verb problem
apply
benefited
from using them.Wrong verb form
benefit
Submitted by aishahaldawai.253 on
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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported with specific examples or evidence. Although examples were provided, more variety and specificity could elevate the argument further.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting ideas between paragraphs more smoothly. While transitions exist, more cohesive linking words would enhance clarity.
task achievement
Avoid small spelling and grammatical mistakes for a more polished essay (e.g., "disscuss" should be "discuss," "educationall" should be "educational," "healh" should be "health")
coherence cohesion
An engaging introduction and a strong conclusion provide a clear thesis and thoughtful summary of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positives and negatives of smartphone use among children, providing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Main points are largely clear, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, and are supported by explanations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.