IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, some nations have implemented regulations and policies to limit occupation
hours
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 for
workers
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. These laws were introduced to increase
Use synonyms
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 productivity. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive improvement to give the employer more
time
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 to spend with their family. Limiting
time
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 of working was established by many companies to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
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 the effectiveness of
employees
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 to reach company goals.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the employer works only for accepting
hours
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 that leads to decreased stress and overwhelming in the workplace, in order to make sure
the
Remove the article
apply
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all
workers
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 make the maximum efforts to enhance and achieve
institution's
Correct article usage
the institution's
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 vision and mission.
For example
Linking Words
, there was a study conducted in Aramco organization on the effect of putting regulations of limiting working
hours
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 among the efficacy provided by
workers
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 the results showed a 35% rise in effectiveness.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 policy
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 seen a positive impact on the
employees
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 both physically and emotionally. In other terms, when the
workers
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 have specific
hours
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 in their job that gives the employer a lot of
time
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 to spend with their family, and friends and doing activities, which leads to improved relationships between them and enhancement of mental and physical status.
For instance
Linking Words
,in a study published at King Abdulaziz University, in Jeddah, about the impact of
workers
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 spending
time
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 with their family on mental
condition
Add a comma
condition,
show examples
 the results
had shown
Wrong verb form
showed
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 there is
improving
Replace the word
improvement
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by
Change preposition
of
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 25%. In conclusion, the establishment of laws that limit working
hours
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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potential benefits that outweigh the drawbacks
this
Linking Words
 benefits both companies by increasing productivity and for
employees
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 by decreasing pressure and exhaustion in the job area.

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coherence cohesion
Try to better organize and clearly separate the reasons for introducing these laws and their positive effects. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You clearly expressed why the laws for limiting working hours were introduced and discussed the benefits of these laws.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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