Most school offers some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical education classes be required or optional?
Nowadays, physical education lessons are important in
the
most Correct article usage
apply
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
for
provide children Change preposition
to
physical
and mental health Change preposition
with physical
improve
. Some people say these lessons must be forced, but others Replace the word
improvement
opposite
them. Replace the word
oppose
This
essay will discuss both opinions.
First of all, these types of activities always have been confirmed that a main part of Linking Words
healthy
life opinion. So, exercising helps the body to stay healthy and get a fit image. It can have a positive effect on the lives of overweight scholars with the help of physical Correct article usage
a healthy
activities
Change the noun form
activity
classes
in schools. Use synonyms
Therefore
, compulsory Linking Words
sport
Change the noun form
sports
classes
are especially important for the involvement of overweight students in sports. Use synonyms
Moreover
, children nowadays suffer from problems like obesity and playing games every day will help them cure Linking Words
such
issues. In Iran, Linking Words
for instance
, nearly 32.3% of kids suffer from obesity Linking Words
due to
an unhealthy diet and lack of exercise. Linking Words
Hence
, doing exercise might help to reduce Linking Words
this
percentage and get rid of these problems.
Linking Words
In addition
, exercising Linking Words
also
helps to build strong willpower and endurance. It makes a person a more purposeful personality.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, in some special situations, it is more appropriate to have sports Linking Words
classes
as an option. Because it is difficult for people with disabilities and those with heart disease to participate in physical education Use synonyms
classes
. With Use synonyms
this
in mind, it would be better if these Linking Words
classes
were offered as optional.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, I think minor sports Linking Words
classes
, as important as they are for every student, should be optional for limited requirements.Use synonyms
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion on the importance of physical education and whether such classes should be mandatory or optional, and it responds to the prompt fairly well. To enhance the response, you could include more detailed explanations for some points, particularly on why physical education could be important beyond addressing obesity, such as team building or stress reduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point is logically connected to the next. The essay is mostly coherent, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, linking the benefits of exercise in reducing obesity directly to its potential to build mental endurance could clarify the connection between the points more effectively.
task achievement
The essay clearly distinguishes between physical education being mandatory and optional, considering both perspectives which is a strong point in achieving a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the mention of the percentage of kids suffering from obesity in Iran, effectively illustrate the point being made, adding depth to the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.