IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Assem

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #assem
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Some people think that doctors and engineers should
work
Use synonyms
 where they studied. In my case, I think they should not if they do not want to
work
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 where they studied because it is their choice. In my first
experience
Add a comma
experience,
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 it is additional knowledge
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.if they
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 abroad they will see new technologies,advanced methods and diverse working environments.
For example
Linking Words
 , a doctor working in Korea a developed
country
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 can gain valuable experience that they might bring back to their home
country
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 later.
This
Linking Words
 global collaboration fosters development on an international scale. If people support the idea of professionals remaining in their training
country
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 highlight the importance of addressing national needs. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 many governments invested
to
Change preposition
in
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 training skilled professionals, especially in fields like medicine and engineering, to improve their
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 service.
However
Linking Words
 these people want to go
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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abroad actually the
country
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 may suffer from a shortage of essential workers.
For example
Linking Words
, developing countries often rely on their doctors to meet basic health needs. Their loss in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of richer countries may lead to a deterioration in public health and a slowdown in economic progress.
In addition
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, field-trained specialists are familiar with the
country
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's unique problems,
such
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 as specific diseases or infrastructure needs, which makes them more suitable for serving their population. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 requiring professionals to remain in their training
country
Use synonyms
 helps meet domestic needs and prevent brain drain, it may
also
Linking Words
 restrict their personal freedom and career development. Allowing them to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad fosters innovation, global collaboration, and economic benefits through remittances. A balanced approach,
such
Linking Words
 as mandating a minimum service period before working internationally or providing incentives to stay, can address the needs of both individuals and their home countries. By combining freedom with responsibility, both sides can benefit.
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task achievement
In the introduction, try to present both views more clearly before stating your opinion. This will help set the context for the discussion and make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to follow a clear and logical structure by having one paragraph for each main point. This will help in maintaining clarity and focus.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences, making the text flow naturally from one point to another.
task achievement
Some sentences in your essay can have more complete explanations; try expanding on ideas slightly more to ensure they're fully articulated.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that encapsulates the main points discussed.
task achievement
You’ve included relevant examples that enhance your main ideas, such as the example of a doctor working in a developed country.
task achievement
Your conclusion is well-crafted, addressing a balanced approach which is thoughtful and insightful, showing strong logical thinking.
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