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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write a short composition of about 75-100 words on the present and future energy sources your country uses now and is likely to develop in the future. Use words and expressions from this unit.

#composition #future #energy #sources #country #expressions #unit
Nowadays, Russia is a huge oil and gas exporter in Europe and other countries through pipelines. Its economics is based on the extraction and sale of finite natural
resources
.
Therefore
, the transition to energy-efficient using more ecologically friendly
resources
,
such
 as wind farms, solar panels etc, means changing the whole country's economy, which cuts a huge part of GDP.
However
, the government is trying to be part of global eco-trends and create eco-laws, which regulate firms’ actions and control their influence on the environment.
Moreover
, now investors pay attention to
this
 eco-aspect in companies’ reports.
As a result
, many Russian companies set ecological goals in order to show their responsible strategies for sustainable development,
such
 as reducing carbon footprint, using renewable energy, and monitoring the consumption of electricity and other
resources
. Today, Russia stands as a major oil and gas exporter to Europe and other nations, primarily achieved through pipelines. The nation's economy is fundamentally rooted in the extraction and sale of finite natural
resources
.
Thus
, a shift towards energy efficiency and the utilization of more environmentally friendly
resources
,
such
 as wind farms and solar panels, necessitates a significant transformation of the country's entire economy.
This
 transition could potentially impact a considerable portion of its GDP. Despite these challenges, the government is making strides to align with global environmental trends by establishing eco-laws. These laws regulate corporate activities and monitor their impact on the environment.
Additionally
, investors are now increasingly considering
this
 eco-aspect in their analysis of company reports. In response, numerous Russian companies are incorporating environmental objectives into their strategies for sustainable development. These goals often include reducing carbon footprints, utilizing renewable energy sources, and monitoring electricity and resource consumption.
Submitted by ddoiron on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured response. Please ensure that your essay begins with an introductory statement that outlines the topic and ends with a conclusion that summarizes the main points and your stance.
Supported Main Points
Main points need to be more supported by specific examples or data. Try to include clear examples that directly relate to the topic of energy sources in Russia, both present and future.
Complete Response
Your response does not fully address the prompt. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion on both present and future energy sources in Russia. Your essay leans heavily toward the future without exploring the current situation in enough detail.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Although you make some valid points, the transition between them is abrupt. Consider using linking words and phrases to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas are somewhat clear, but they lack comprehensiveness. To enhance clarity and comprehension, try to expand on your ideas by explaining them further and elaborating on their implications.
Relevant & Specific Examples
While you mention some relevant facts, there is a lack of specific examples that illustrate the current and potential future energy sources in Russia. Specific examples are necessary to substantiate your claims and make your essay more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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