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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #quality #school #students #comments #criticism #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom
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High school education always plays a significant role in people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. There has arisen a heated debate about whether
students
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 should be encouraged to give evaluation and criticism of their
teachers
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 for better education quality. Those who support
students
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' right to evaluate and criticize their
teachers
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 may claim that
students
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' feedback can help
teachers
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 improve teaching. Understandably, there are significant variations in each teacher's performance, sometimes even an experienced teacher will make some mistakes.
Students
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 giving constructive opinions to their
teachers
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 can help them be aware of the weaknesses in their teaching and make necessary improvements. A
further
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 argument is that
teachers
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 can develop better relations with their
students
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 who like to express criticism.
Students
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 who think they have some say in the quality of education they receive will
also
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 engage more actively in class.
However
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, there is an opposite view that allowing
students
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 to evaluate and criticize their
teachers
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 may encourage disrespectful behaviours towards
teachers
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. If some
students
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 publicly and bluntly criticise their
teachers
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,
such
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 as posting unkind remarks on social media complaining about their classes.
As a result
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, their
teachers
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 will be offended losing authority and control of their
students
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. What is more, if
students
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 are permitted to freely disturb their
teachers
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 in class, pointing to
teachers
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' mistakes,
then
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 the class will be disrupted, resulting in other
students
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 being distracted and poor learning effects for all
students
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. My opinion is that there is truth in both views. Affording
students
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 the freedom to evaluate and criticize their
teachers
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 can help improve teaching and motivate learning.
However
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, it will
also
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 cause problems of
teachers
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 feeling disrespected and classes being disrupted. Given these potential problems, it is important that schools create opportunities for
students
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 to give feedback on their
teachers
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 and classes,
such
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 as doing regular surveys and
also
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 making proper rules to discourage disruptive and disrespectful behaviours of particular
students
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.
Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of arguments is consistently clear. Address the task by strengthening the sequencing of ideas to improve readability and flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, but ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and articulates your position with greater clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with more specific examples or evidence. Particularly, the essay would benefit from more detailed scenarios or references that directly relate to the impact of student feedback on teachers and the educational process.
Task Achievement
Respond to all parts of the task more fully by expanding on the implications of student feedback, both positive and negative, and more thoroughly explain how it can be implemented while maintaining respect and discipline.
Task Achievement
Ideas presented are clear, but aim to develop them further and provide more comprehensive analysis. Each viewpoint could be explored in more depth to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to illustrate arguments. Use real-life instances, research findings, or hypothetical situations to add depth to your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • constructive criticism
  • classroom discipline
  • educational quality
  • teaching methods
  • learning outcomes
  • classroom management
  • teacher-student relationship
  • collaborative
  • real-world communication
  • professional growth
  • hierarchy
  • formal barrier
  • structured feedback mechanisms
  • anonymous surveys
  • moderated discussions
What to do next:
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