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Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and in 2010.

The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and in 2010.
#bar #percentage #people #education
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of younger students in higher education in four countries, over the period of one decade from 2000 to 2010. As a general trend, the four countries experienced an upward trend throughout the period
studies
Correct your spelling
studied
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, except for
country
Use synonyms
 B, which displayed slight fluctuation in two years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 2000, every
country
Use synonyms
 had percentages from 30% to 60%, where
country
Use synonyms
 D was the highest with young
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 studying in that university.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 A had almost the same numbers as C.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 B displayed the lowest numbers during
this
Linking Words
 year.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 A, C and D recorded a significant upward trend after 2000. Their percentages went up around 5%.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010 their number
were
Change the verb form
was
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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greater than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
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 years, increasing well above 10%.
Finally
Linking Words
, three out of four countries showed a considerable increase,
reached
Correct word choice
and reached
show examples
 their highest percentages in 2010.
Country
Use synonyms
 B was the only one
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 their number of students did not show a significant increase.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "displayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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