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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

#people #strength #fi #success #sport #mort
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There are different opinions among people about achieving success in
sports
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.
While
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 a school thought holds that the basis of success in
sports
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 is physical
strength
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, others are of the opinion that mental
strength
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 is more vital. I Agree with the latter. It is understandable why some people contend that the
strength
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 of
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
 attitudes.
Firstly
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,
sports
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 coaches cannot provide mental competition or must win at all costs; the result is that athletes may lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the motivation to train hard and succeed.
Sports
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 often have failures and disappointments, so players really need words of encouragement to help them gain mental
strength
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 and overcome failures to continue to accomplish their set goals. Especially on the world stage where information is everywhere focusing on the value of
sports
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, it is very difficult to be successful when having a cavalier attitude
while
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practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, I side with those who believe that physical
strength
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in
sports
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.
While
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 some people pursue
sports
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 to satisfy their interests or to keep fit.
However
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, some
sports
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,
such
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 as boxing, judo, and weightlifting, require players to be physically healthy to maintain stamina and have stable physical
strength
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.
Besides
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, some international athletes
also
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 have to use illegal substances and drugs so that they can maintain and reach the best physical condition in every match. In conclusion, there are some justifications to advocate that to be successful in
sports
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, determination, and mental motivation are indispensable, I would contend that physical
strength
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 is
also
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 important.
Submitted by reachsourav.32 on

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Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and watch for small errors such as 'metal' instead of 'mental'.
Content
Provide clearer, more structured arguments supported by specific examples to strengthen the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main idea and is directly connected to the thesis statement.
Task Response
The essay presents both sides of the argument and concludes with the writer's personal opinion, addressing the task adequately.
Content
Clear understanding of the importance of both physical and mental strength in sports.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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