Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is true that nowadays, an increasing number of
people
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are taking alternative treatments,
such
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as buying medicines over the counter
instead
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of depending on their family doctor.
Although
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there are some possible benefits, I believe
this
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is a negative development
overall
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, and in
this
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essay, I will state the reasons for my view. On the one hand, various possible benefits may be noted. Making an appointment and meeting their usual
doctors
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takes almost a day on weekdays. They find it they do not have enough time to meet their usual
doctors
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, as they are usually busy with their work and family schedule.
Therefore
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, they tried to solve their health problem in other alternative ways to save their time.
For example
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, most
people
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prefer to buy medicines over the counter near their places for normal flu or sick, and try to take treatments using other traditional methods
instead
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of visiting their family
doctors
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.
In addition
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, it is much cheaper and convenient because they do not need to wait long hours at a clinic.
However
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, it may bring negative effects for
people
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if they have a serious disease.
This
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means that patients can only know about their diseases by checking medical machines or taking consultation with
doctors
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.
Otherwise
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, their diseases may spread or it can be worsen. Knowing their health condition earlier allows them to save their lives or be easily cured.
For instance
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, patients who suffer from cancer can be easily cured in the early stage.
Thus
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, it is important to see a doctor to get proper treatment to avoid serious conditions.
To conclude
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,
although
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there are positive effects of using alternative treatments, I believe that
people
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should consider their health conditions by checking with
doctors
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to avoid serious illness.
Therefore
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, even if they are okay to use medicines without seeing
doctors
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, they should check regularly with their family
doctors
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.

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task response
Make your view clear in the intro and keep it in every paragraph.
coherence
Use clear topic lines and simple links to show how ideas go from one part to the next.
content
Add more exact examples and keep to one idea per paragraph.
grammar
Check basic grammar and keep short, easy sentences.
position
The writer gives a clear position against the use of extra care.
examples
Some good examples are given, such as buying OTC meds and the need for early checks in cancer.
closing
The essay ends with a clear conclusion that restates the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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