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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line shows the number of the consumers in America who used cell phone and residential phone during the period from 2001 to 2010.

#line #consumers #america #cell #phone #period
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The line graph represents the average annual
phone
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 expenditures in dollars among American citizens in both types of
phone
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 including
cell
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 and
fixed-line
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 during a specific decade (2001-2010). Looking from an
overall
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 perspective it is readily apparent that the consumption of
cell
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 mobile figures during the whole decade
,
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apply
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 showed an upward trend.
In contrast
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, the consumption of
fixed-line
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phone
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 figures witnessed a downward trend during the given 10 years.
In addition
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, both
cell
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 and
fixed-line
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 phones met at the same point in 2006. From the given graph it can be seen that, in 2001
cell
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phone
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 expenditures were just above 200$ and
this
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 experienced a progressive increase and continued throughout a decade to higher points which reached a peak of nearly 750$ in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the situation is significantly disparate in the
fixed-line
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phone
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 expenditure figure which witnessed a substantial decrease from nearly 690$ in 2001 to lower points during the given 10 years until reached a dip of approximately 400$ in 2010.
Submitted by dream2cuwed on

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task achievement
Ensure all quantitative values stated match exactly with what's depicted in the graph's data.
coherence cohesion
For stronger coherence, help the reader flow through sections with better transitions.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the general trend for both cell and fixed-line phones.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of information with a clear introduction of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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