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Band 7

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use.

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use.
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The bar chart provides key information about the visits figures to a community website in the
first
Use synonyms
 and second
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 of utilization. The units are measured in
numbers
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the
second
Add a hyphen
second-year
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 usage demonstrated substantial
numbers
Use synonyms
 compared to the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data shown, the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 of use
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuated
numbers
Use synonyms
 which began at less than 5000 in September, but they increased
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10000 by December.
However
Linking Words
, from January to April the figures plunged to less than 5000 again.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, they experienced a constant rise from May to August which reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the peak visits
numbers
Use synonyms
 of the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 with 15000. In terms of the second
year
Use synonyms
 of use, it is obvious to say that it has approximately similar
numbers
Use synonyms
 to the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 during September and October.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the bar soared in
numbers
Use synonyms
 which was above 15000 from November to January.
Moreover
Linking Words
, It did not remain stable and decreased to 1000 for two consecutive months. In June and
July
Add a comma
July,
show examples
 the visits
numbers
Use synonyms
 were the highest among all other months which were above 20000, but it declined to less than 1500 by August.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words first, year, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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