IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

n some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#n #countries #university #students #home #study #city
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In some
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 university students stay with their family
while
Linking Words
 learning.
Conversely
Linking Words
, others tend to live away from home in a different
city
Use synonyms
 during university. I hold a belief that the benefits of studying in a different
city
Use synonyms
 are more significant than the drawbacks. On the one hand. many drawbacks can be seen when studying away from home in another
city
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
the most notable one is
living
Correct article usage
the living
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 cost.
Since when
Change preposition
When
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 moving to
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 the cost of living can
be
Change the verb form
be also changed
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also
Linking Words
 change to higher and lower but mostly higher and that can be a big burden to some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
from lower-class.
Second
Add an article
The second
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 noticeable one is related to mental health, the reason is when going to a new
city
Use synonyms
 students often feel lost and
overwhelm
Change the form of the verb
overwhelmed
show examples
 by the culture there and can not adapt to it.
For example
Linking Words
, when moving from the countryside to the metropolis there are big
different
Replace the word
differences
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 in the way they live and do
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, students who live and study alone in a strange
city
Use synonyms
 can develop many
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 that will be useful in the future. It can be clearly seen that they are more independent because when living alone the environment
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
 them to get out of their comfort zone and do everything themselves. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
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, when they are alone they have to cook
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 and do chores using their energy. Next. they can accumulate experience. The reason is when staying away from home they have
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
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 for rent and food which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to them finding jobs and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing those can help them experience how working in the future will be and from that draw some lessons. In conclusion, living alone can pose some challenges in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of cost and mental health but the advantage of being more independent and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 experience for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 future job quite worth risking it
Submitted by ieltstb239bythuyanh on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure logical structure by connecting ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Use clear transition phrases to enhance flow.
Task Achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and developing ideas comprehensively to enhance clarity.
Language Accuracy
Check for grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to improve overall readability and precision.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outlines and reiterates your main argument effectively.
Logical Structure
Main points are organized logically, showing a good attempt to discuss both sides.
Task Achievement
You attempt to discuss relevant ideas and provide some examples based on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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