It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing so?

#schoolchildren #vegetables #animals

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In today’s world, students are advised to know about growing vegetables and keeping

animals

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. Vegetables and

animals

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are

integral

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an integral

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part of maintaining a proper natural habitat.

This

Linking Words

essay is an attempt to introspect both the positive and negative sides of educating them. When taking

consideration

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into consideration

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about

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apply

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feeding a knowledge of growing vegetables and keeping

animals

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, there are too many benefits. Among them, one positive impact is kids understand how much pain a farmer goes through

for growing

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to grow

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a crop.

This

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would mean people knowing the process of cultivating a vegetable will try not to waste the food.

Likewise

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, keeping

animals

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will bring them a good attitude towards

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the pet

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pet

Fix the agreement mistake

pets

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and

also

Linking Words

awareness towards

Add an article

the behavior

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behavior

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behaviour

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Add an article

the pet

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pet

Fix the agreement mistake

pets

show examples

For example

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, children with access to keep pets are friendlier. These are

couple

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a couple

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of reasons

introducing

Rephrase

why introducing

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knowledge of

pets

Fix the agreement mistake

pet

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keeping and farming is necessary.

However

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, there are disadvantages too. The first downside often experienced is

animals

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might behave

dangerous

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dangerously

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to youth. To explain, pets may cause severe injury or even

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

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to death. Another repercussion

that is

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witnessed in terms of educating them is lack of time for getting drained in their core subjects. To substantiate with an example, it could be cited that a university in Singapore conducted research by teaching school kids,

Linking Words

however

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however,

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children failed miserably to qualify their required grades in Mathematics.

To conclude

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, it is accepted that educating them is a subject that has both positive and negative sides to it. In the future, it is anticipated that educating different prospects is likely to continue.

Submitted by manojramoo on Fri Jan 10 2025

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coherence cohesion

Include clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure that each point made is sufficiently supported with relevant examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from more precise language and varied sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic as required by the task.

task achievement

Effort has been made to include examples to support the points made, which is a good practice for task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing so?

Your opinion

The best way to remove poverty in developing countries is to provide 6 years of free education to all children. So that they can read, write and use numbers agree or disagree

Many people use social media everyday to get in touch with other people and obtain the news.Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?