It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing so?
In today’s world, students are advised to know about growing vegetables and keeping
animals
. Vegetables and Use synonyms
animals
are Use synonyms
integral
part of maintaining a proper natural habitat. Change the article
an integral
This
essay is an attempt to introspect both the positive and negative sides of educating them.
When taking Linking Words
consideration
Change preposition
into consideration
about
feeding a knowledge of growing vegetables and keeping Change preposition
apply
animals
, there are too many benefits. Among them, one positive impact is kids understand how much pain a farmer goes through Use synonyms
for growing
a crop. Change preposition
to grow
This
would mean people knowing the process of cultivating a vegetable will try not to waste the food. Linking Words
Likewise
, keeping Linking Words
animals
will bring them a good attitude towards Use synonyms
Add an article
the pet
pet
and Fix the agreement mistake
pets
also
awareness towards Linking Words
Add an article
the behavior
behavior
of Change the spelling
behaviour
Add an article
the pet
pet
. Fix the agreement mistake
pets
For example
, children with access to keep pets are friendlier. These are Linking Words
couple
of reasons Change the article
a couple
introducing
knowledge of Rephrase
why introducing
pets
keeping and farming is necessary.
Fix the agreement mistake
pet
However
, there are disadvantages too. The first downside often experienced is Linking Words
animals
might behave Use synonyms
dangerous
to youth. To explain, pets may cause severe injury or even Change the adjective
dangerously
leads
to death. Another repercussion Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
that is
witnessed in terms of educating them is lack of time for getting drained in their core subjects. To substantiate with an example, it could be cited that a university in Singapore conducted research by teaching school kids, Linking Words
Linking Words
however
children failed miserably to qualify their required grades in Mathematics.
Add a comma
however,
To conclude
, it is accepted that educating them is a subject that has both positive and negative sides to it. In the future, it is anticipated that educating different prospects is likely to continue.Linking Words
Submitted by manojramoo on
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coherence cohesion
Include clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that each point made is sufficiently supported with relevant examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from more precise language and varied sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic as required by the task.
task achievement
Effort has been made to include examples to support the points made, which is a good practice for task achievement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?