️ People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

#people #tv #films #programmes #development

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Currently, Some Individuals

likely

Add a missing verb

are likely

show examples

to see movies,small screen and entertainment shows by staying solo

instead

Linking Words

with added

Change preposition

of adding

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human beings.In

this

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essay, I am going to discuss

this

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development and give my opinion. On the one hand,

According to

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opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

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the benefits are more of watching films alone because

this

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gives us extra peace without any sounds or distractions.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will give

Correct pronoun usage

us a

show examples

chance to freedom of expression

Linking Words

such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

Correct word choice

apply

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we may have some fears of showing our real

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

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in public but when we are in our own solitary space

this

Linking Words

will lead us to express

futhuthermore

Correct your spelling

furthermore

For Example

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, nowadays, the majority of the youth tend to be introverted and not likely to mingle with another person

this

Linking Words

is keeping them to stay calm and composed.

On the other hand

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, some humans believe that the drawbacks in

this

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topic outweigh the

assert

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asserted

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choice

Remove the comma

apply

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because entertainment is going to be lost

due to

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considering watching shows unaccompanied.

Therefore

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, we cannot ask

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

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opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

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Correct word choice

or discussion

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discussion

Replace the word

discuss

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about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the film.

In contrast

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this

Linking Words

will

take

Verb problem

cause

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us to be isolated and introduce us to loneliness by not enjoying

Correct pronoun usage

our friends

show examples

friends

Change noun form

friends'

friend's

show examples

company.In

california

Change the capitalization

California

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for instance

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, a man named

paul

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Paul

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said that

this

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scenario had made him introverted

thus

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, he is not interested

to communicate

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in communicating

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with

public

Add an article

the public

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To sum up

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,gazing shows companionless had more positives than negative statements.

Moreover

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this

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will keep us in peace

as well as

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give an opportunity to freedom of expression.

Submitted by pranithaparasagani on Sat Jan 11 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. The current examples are somewhat vague and do not strongly support the argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is developed with sufficient detail and clarity. Some points in the essay are not fully elaborated.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

task achievement

It recognizes the pros and cons of watching TV alone versus with others, which shows an understanding of the task.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

personal freedom
compromise
negotiate
viewing preferences
enhanced focus
immerse
understanding
appreciation
independent decision-making
autonomy
personal responsibility
isolation
social disconnection
loneliness
shared viewing experiences
bonding opportunities
collective experience
discussions
communal aspect
screen time
physical and mental health

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️ People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Word Count

Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is necessary to travel to learn about other countries. Others feel same can be learnt through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that the cost of space exploration is far too high for the benefits it brings while others argue that we space programs should continue no matter what the cost. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Children weight are increasing over the years. What are the reasons? What can be done?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.