Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There is the perspective that allowing children to make their own
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
on
daily life tends to have the children Change preposition
in
to
think about their own. Fix the infinitive
apply
However
, some people believe that Linking Words
this
skill is crucial for the youth. Both sides will Linking Words
be explain
Change the verb form
be explained
along with
my opinions and relevant examples.
Linking Words
First,
Linking Words
although
being alone is common these days, individuals need to prioritize themselves mainly.
Training teenagers how to make their own ways can probably lead to Linking Words
self centering
because of Add a hyphen
self-centering
lack
of caring Correct article usage
a lack
others
. Change preposition
for others
Moreover
, commoners normally tend to Linking Words
concern
about themselves and have less interaction with others. Allowing the children to select their own path might stop Wrong verb form
be concerned
contacting
with ones that should be a future relationship and commune. Replace the word
contact
For example
, The questionnaire revealed that 80 Linking Words
percents
of the younger generation who feel normal to make a decision by themselves have less empathy and socialization compared to those Fix the agreement mistake
percent
being
uncertain to Verb problem
who are
decide
the matters.
Wrong verb form
deciding
On the other hand
, the key Linking Words
of
letting the child select their own choices is living in the future without a guardian which is Change preposition
to
the
big part of becoming Correct article usage
a
adult
. Add an article
an adult
Aging
comes Change the spelling
Ageing
along with
Linking Words
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
for
managing life. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, deciding their own choices can lead Linking Words
what
someone really Change preposition
to what
desire
, not what Change the verb form
desires
other
tell Fix the agreement mistake
others
to
follow. Self-knowing is Correct pronoun usage
them to
the
essential skill that the child should focus on Correct article usage
an
while
they Linking Words
were
young to create Wrong verb form
are
the
future dream life. For exemplify, the pediatric psychiatrist of Harvard Medical Correct article usage
a
school
suggested Capitalize word
School
the
Correct your spelling
that
parent
should leave some Fix the agreement mistake
parents
spaces
for letting their kids choose an alternative and get the lesson from what is done by them for constructing Fix the agreement mistake
space
self awareness
which is the key Add a hyphen
self-awareness
of
getting older.
Letting the young one Change preposition
to
to
make a decision on everyday matters affects individuals to have less conversation and create selfishness which Change the verb form
apply
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
the
each person Remove the article
apply
to think
only their own story
Change the verb form
thinking
while
some individuals Linking Words
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
belief
that Replace the word
believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
kid
should consider and decide the way by themselves
for dealing with maturity and searching Fix the agreement mistake
kids
their
own soul.Change preposition
for their
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support each point, especially on the perspective that self-decision making can lead to selfishness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main idea is fully explained. For instance, explain more clearly how learning decision-making helps children in adulthood.
task achievement
Polish some of the sentence structures for better clarity. Some ideas are complex and could benefit from simpler phrasing.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion present, laying out the views and summarizing the argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured, with a distinct paragraph for each view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.