In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

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In some cultures,

parents

Use synonyms

give the vision to their children that anything is achievable, if they try hard enough. They claim that

Remove the comma

apply

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hard-working is a key action in everyones’ success story.

However

Linking Words

, there are some pros and cons to having

this

Linking Words

view. In

this

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essay, I will discuss some of the points and try to draw a conclusion. Let’s start by looking at the advantages. Some

believes

Change the verb form

believe

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that if

parents

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encourage their children to be more ambitious and try their best, success will be unavoidable. They claim that

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apply

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the pathway only works when their son or daughter tends to sacrifice all of the distractions and go for the goal with a great effort. On

this

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occasion, the families’ vision gives a positive hope to them and helps them to overcome their fears.

As a result

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, they can

pass

Verb problem

overcome

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the difficulties and achieve their dream.

Conversely

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, not everyone has the possibility to do what he or she wants and

this

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would be a disadvantage of the mentioned belief.

For instance

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parents

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might encourage their son to become a medical doctor, but he could not join the university as the course costs too much. In

this

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situation, poor backgrounds prevents him from following his dreams and he may be forced to start working from his younger ages to help his family.

Consequently

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, he will become disappointed and

would

Wrong verb form

will

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not enjoy his current job. In conclusion,

parents

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usually support their children by giving them positive vibes.

However

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, sometimes the cons of

this

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action

outweighs

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outweigh

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the pros.

Although

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some students try hard to achieve their goals, they fail because of some difficulties like poverty. In my opinion,

parents

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should first consider the possibilities and

then

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help their sweetheart to catch his or her dreams.

Submitted by bahram.azizzade on Sat Jan 11 2025

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one and transitions smoothly. Use linking words consistently.

task achievement

Expand on your examples to make them more specific and illustrative. This will help strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

In the conclusion, reaffirm your position strongly, summarizing the main points discussed, for a more compelling finish.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps frame your arguments effectively and provides a complete response to the question.

task achievement

You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the belief, showing a balanced view. This contributes well to task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets up the topic and indicates the structure of the essay, making it easily understandable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. teacher need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all cost and go back to teaching basic study skills. do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Some people think that space exploration can benefit humans in many aspects. Others think that it has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.