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Writing Samples
Band 5

in some countries, many people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. do you think it is positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development
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In many nations, more people prefer to live alone nowadays to become independent, in my own perspective, it has a diversity of positive and negative impacts on the person. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 development and drop in my point of view. On one hand, many people leave their hometown to live alone, to give an example, the majority of students apply for an international university and study abroad
instead
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 of local colleges.
This
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 trend can enhance personal growth and they become highly independent and self-reliable
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they should learn how to cook, pay for utilities, rent, and
laundry
Add a missing verb
do laundry
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, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 valuable life skills. From an economic perspective, it will increase the demand for housing,
therefore
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 it benefits the construction industry,
due to
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 the rise in profits. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, one
person
Change noun form
person's
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 household can have negative
conequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 on both mental health and economic situation.
Firstly
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, people who live alone for a long period of time, can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of loneliness and isolation,
due to
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 the
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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 of interactions with peers from their hometown and they could lack emotional support and miss important occasions in the family , thereby,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 the issue of
home sickness
Correct your spelling
homesickness
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. on the financial trend, the cost of living is
preventevly
Correct your spelling
preventively
 expensive nowadays, and the demand for housing Is likely to push up property prices,
consequently
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, putting a financial burden on individuals. In conclusion, living alone can enhance personal growth and develop life skills, controversially, it can damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health if
their
Correct your spelling
there
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isnt
Correct your spelling
isn't
is
 a balance between social life and living by yourself.
Submitted by anfal.alnajdi on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all sections of your essay support each other logically and consistently. The ideas presented, while insightful, sometimes lack clear connections between them. For instance, the transition between discussing economic impacts to personal impacts could be smoother.
Task Achievement
Address any grammatical inaccuracies such as 'isnt' which should be 'isn't' and consentrate on ensuring accurate and varied sentence structures. For example, 'due to the reduce of interactions' would be clearer if phrased as 'due to the reduction in interactions.'
Task Achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by adding more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could discuss how living alone can teach financial management with real-world examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Your discussion on personal growth and development of life skills provides strong support for your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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