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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the changes in weekly food consumption per person in Great Britain from 1985 to 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the changes in weekly food consumption per person in Great Britain from 1985 to 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The graph shows the difference in the amount of food consumed by citizens in England each week from 1985 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, fresh
fruit
Use synonyms
 was obviously the most chosen food in Britain, followed by Sugar and
Ice
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cream
Use synonyms
. Both fresh
fruit
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 and
ice
Use synonyms
cream
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend
while
Linking Words
 there was a significant fluctuation in the consumed amount of fresh
fruit
Use synonyms
. In regard to
fruit
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, in 1985, it began at 500
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 consumption each week and continued rising to nearly 600
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 in the next year. Before gradually reaching its golden age in 2010 at 750
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 of
fruit
Use synonyms
 consumed each week, there was a sudden drop in 1995 at just over 500
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 having a similar trend, the highest rate
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 consuming
ice
Use synonyms
cream
Use synonyms
 was recorded at 100
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 which was nearly eight times less than the former one.
Ice
Use synonyms
cream
Use synonyms
 consumption steadily increased over a
25 years
Correct your spelling
25-year
 period from nearly 50
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 in the beginning and reached its highest rate at 100
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only sugar had a tendency to decrease over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. Sugar began as the second highest rate at approximately 400
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 and experienced a dramatic fall to only 100
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 in 2019
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fruit, ice, cream, gram with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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