Crime is decreasing due to technology development, agree or disagree.

In recent years, the proportion of
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
crime is gradually dropping ,
due to
Linking Words
technological development. I
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, because technology tools
such
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as CCTV
cameras
Use synonyms
and motion
sensors
Use synonyms
,
as well as
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,
finger prints
Correct your spelling
fingerprints
show examples
, have a significant impact on the detection of criminals. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
this
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notion, and drop in my own perspective. On one hand, one of the major
detector
Change to a plural noun
detectors
show examples
of criminals are CCTV
cameras
Use synonyms
,
as well as
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, motion
sensors
Use synonyms
, these advanced tools can act as a deterrent, they ensure that private and public spaces are safe.
Moreover
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,
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this
Change the determiner
this camera
these cameras
show examples
cameras
Use synonyms
are initiated in every sector whether it is in a home or a company, thereby, it is impossible for a criminal to prevent being caught, to give an example,
cameras
Use synonyms
have a core memory which a person can repeat the tape whether it is for today or a week or a month ago.
Additionally
Linking Words
, motion
sensors
Use synonyms
can detect a criminal in a simpler way, because these
sensors
Use synonyms
set
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
alarm if someone
break
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breaks
show examples
in and silent
call
Correct subject-verb agreement
calls
show examples
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
force,
this
Linking Words
development can enhance safety in the community as a whole.
In addition
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, one of the most
extravaggant
Correct your spelling
extravagant
tool
Change to a plural noun
tools
show examples
for detection is
finger print
Correct your spelling
fingerprint
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
complex manner of tiny lines can give a personal statement, experiences,
any
Correct word choice
or any
show examples
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
offence,
therefore
Linking Words
, if a criminal has
a
Change the article
the
show examples
plan to escape, he will be detected in the airport, fingerprints
is
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are
show examples
the most advanced way of solving a crime,
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
each and every item
is hold
Change the verb form
is held
show examples
by the
offencer
Correct your spelling
offence
officer
, can be an evidence of the person who issued the crime. In conclusion, there are two major detectors to ensure safety in the nation, technological development has played a crucial role
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
the rate of crimes with the
assistent
Correct your spelling
assistance
of government and individuals.

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Task Achievement
The essay has a clear position and provides specific examples, but it can be improved by ensuring more logical progression and linking of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating more varied sentence structures and using advanced vocabulary to enhance readability and interest.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction clearly outlines the writer's position, setting up the essay effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay uses specific technological examples like CCTV cameras and fingerprinting to illustrate points.
Introduction/Conclusion
A strong conclusion that reinforces the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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