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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the availability of various sweeteners in the USA from 1966 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the availability of various sweeteners in the USA from 1966 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph below demonstrates the availability of different four
sweeteners
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in the USA
within
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
from 1966 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 corn
sweeteners
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 increased gradually during those 46 years, refined cane and beet sugars decreased in that period. Unlikely, honey and edible syrups were shown with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
consistent lines. When it comes to the chart, Pounds per person of corn
sweeteners
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was about 20 in 1966.
After
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it began to rise and arrived at approximately 60 Pounds per person in 2000.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite

If you don’t want Inspite to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of its increasing fluctuations the corn total data describe a small number from the beginning of 1966 to 2012. Dropping steadily reached about 60 dry -
weight
Correct your spelling
-weight

If you don’t want weight to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of time. Looking at the chart, consumption of honey and edible syrups trends were the lowest than others. Both of them had shown moderately accelerating
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 Refined cane and beet sugars decreased slowly from 1976
to1986
Correct your spelling
to 1986

If you don’t want to1986 to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, next following years almost, remained unchanged.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the amount of
sweeteners
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 the USA supplied was around 130 in 1966
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 started to increase and the biggest quantity was nearly 160 from 2000 and dropped slowly to 2011.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweeteners with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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