The chart illustrates data about the number of males and females playing the most popular sports in New Zealand in 2002.

The chart illustrates data about the number of males and females playing the most popular sports in New Zealand in 2002.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart illustrates data about the number of males and females playing the most popular sports in New Zealand in 2002.
The chart illustrates data about the
number
Use synonyms
of males and females playing the most popular sports in New Zealand in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of young women going swimming, doing athletics and playing netball surpassed that of young
men
Use synonyms
. In cricket,
marital
Correct your spelling
martial
show examples
arts, basketball, tennis, soccer and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, more
boys
Use synonyms
participated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
than
girls
Use synonyms
. Netball was the sport that marked the huge difference between about 1% of males playing and nearly 25% of females joining. More than 20% of
girls
Use synonyms
went swimming
while
Linking Words
just roughly 13% of
boys
Use synonyms
did. Athletics witnessed the smallest difference in the
number
Use synonyms
of the two sexes playing.
In
Change preposition
Of
show examples
all the sports that most
men
Use synonyms
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
, soccer had the highest
number
Use synonyms
with 25% of young
men
Use synonyms
playing, five times higher than the
number
Use synonyms
for young women. The percentage of
boys
Use synonyms
playing cricket and martial arts was at 11% and 10% respectively
while
Linking Words
that for
girls
Use synonyms
was at nearly 1% and 3% respectively. These were followed by baseball and tennis with the figures at both about 9% for
men
Use synonyms
and ranging around 7% for women. In other sports, approximately 18% of
boys
Use synonyms
participated
whereas
Linking Words
the figure for
girls
Use synonyms
was more humble at 10%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, men, boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: