In may countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Urbanisations
Fix the agreement mistake
Urbanisation
are
happening in some nations where countryside society Correct subject-verb agreement
is
come
to the metropolitan range and Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
leave
their hometown which is declining in the statistic of Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
population
, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
metropolis
become overpopulated. Correct your spelling
metropolises
This
phenomenon is a negative development because there Linking Words
willbe
Correct your spelling
will be
ahigher
rate of unemployment in the city and rural areas are difficult to develop.
First and foremost, there will be more Correct your spelling
a higher
higher
population
strolling around the capital without any occupation Use synonyms
due to
the high Linking Words
population
living in the cities Use synonyms
due to
a high Linking Words
population
with low demand for jobs. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the rate of criminality will be accelerated, Linking Words
as well as
the total of beggars will rise significantly. Linking Words
For example
, Jakarta, a metropolitan area in Indonesia, Linking Words
become
a place where a lot of people Wrong verb form
became
become
unemployed and unfortunately turned into a city with a high criminality index and a large count of poor Wrong verb form
became
family
. It is clearly proven that workless people will be notably affected by urbanisation.
Fix the agreement mistake
families
Furthermore
, Linking Words
the
rural areas are difficult to develop because of the lack of crowd who want to contribute to their hometown. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, it will Linking Words
cause
the potential business and development hard to move forward. Verb problem
make
For instance
, there is a study where a village which has high potential in agriculture is left by their younger generation so the older generation sells their ricefield. That example only tells one of the impacts where Linking Words
public
left their potential villages, where Correct article usage
the public
it
could be more.
In conclusion, a situation where folk from villages move into the downtown has a worsening effect, Correct pronoun usage
there
such
as a large Linking Words
number of
jobless Correct quantifier usage
apply
population
in the city and the development potential in the urban field Use synonyms
is
left by their society.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by handini.yuniarti on
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task achievement
Work on providing more comprehensive and varied examples to support your points, ensuring each main idea is thoroughly developed.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by clearly connecting ideas with appropriate linking words, ensuring the essay flows seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your ideas with more detail and explanation, particularly in the context of task response to enhance understanding and precision.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear context for the essay, outlining the main issue effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion, reinforcing your viewpoint.
task achievement
Main points are clearly stated and linked directly to the topic.
Your opinion
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