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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in 4 asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in 4 asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
#information #percentage #population #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of the population habitat in
cities
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 within 4 countries which are the
Philippines
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,
Malaysia
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, Thailand, and
Indonesia
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, in 4 years, consisting of 1970, 2020, 2030, and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, every country has
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upward trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people living in
cities
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. In 2040,
Malaysia
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 will have the highest amount of people living in
cities
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, approximately over 80
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Following
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Indonesia
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,
Use synonyms
number
Add an article
the number
show examples
 is predicted to be higher than 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
Philippines
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 anticipated to be slightly below 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
, Thailand
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will not be over 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In detail, in 1970, The most populated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in the
Philippines
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, more than 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which was
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 higher than
Malaysia
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 but almost 2 times higher than
Indonesia
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, which was considered the least populated at that time. In 1990, The rate of people
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
habitat
Correct article usage
a habitat
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 increased in every country except
Malaysia
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.
Linking Words
While there
Correct word choice
There
show examples
 was a drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
cities
Change the noun form
city
show examples
 habitat
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in 2 countries, the
Philippines
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 and Thailand, in 2010. In that same year,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 started to grow the
number
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 which could beat the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the follwing
show examples
follwing
Correct your spelling
following
 years.
Submitted by panida.phran on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cities, philippines, malaysia, indonesia, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • rural-urban migration
  • economic development
  • industrialization
  • infrastructure strain
  • environmental impacts
  • social challenges
  • urban planning
  • government policies
  • housing policies
  • public services
  • trend analysis
  • prediction
  • initiatives
  • urban growth management
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