some people think that giving children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future. To what extend agree or disagree

It is said that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Assisting our children by giving them specific

money

Use synonyms

per week

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is helping them to solve their financial issues in the future.

This

Linking Words

essay strongly agrees with the above-mentioned statement for two main reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it enhances the sense of responsibility.

Secondly

Linking Words

, giving

Remove the article

apply

show examples

certain

money

Use synonyms

will immersive them in

Correct article usage

the labor

show examples

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market earlier.

To begin

Linking Words

with, providing funds to our children is not only

booster

Correct article usage

a booster

show examples

personal

Change preposition

of personal

show examples

responses but

also

Linking Words

learning

Verb problem

teaches

show examples

them the value of having things. To illustrate, in

this

Linking Words

era

with

Change preposition

show examples

accelerate developing

Replace the word

accelerated development

show examples

in our life, there are increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

requirements and they want to pay every

things

Change to a singular noun

thing

show examples

they desire. When they have won

money

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

desire is exsist but

enforce

Verb problem

forces

show examples

them to

put

Verb problem

make

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

priority.Cambridge University can be a prime example,

Change preposition

show examples

conducted research between two

Use synonyms

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

Group

Use synonyms

A boys take weekly

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

and

group

Use synonyms

B children receive per day. And measured the level of deal with

money

Use synonyms

. The

resulte

Correct your spelling

results

result

show that

group

Use synonyms

one

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

expand

Wrong verb form

expanded

show examples

knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

how to deal with

funs

Correct subject-verb agreement

fun

show examples

more than others.

Moreover

Linking Words

, giving expenses

fostering

Wrong verb form

fosters

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

critical thinking and personal growth from

earlier

Add an article

an earlier

show examples

age.

This

Linking Words

is because, training them how to deal with

money

Use synonyms

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

can

be introduce

Change the verb form

introduce

show examples

them

Change preposition

show examples

the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market so

probabilty

Correct your spelling

probability

starting

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

they

busnisess

Correct your spelling

business

from

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age

such

Linking Words

famous

Correct article usage

a famous

show examples

person called

Abdualla

Correct your spelling

Abdulla

, For he

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started won workes in marketing

from

Change preposition

show examples

17 old and he was the youngest man in that period between his competitors and he succeeded to be one of the influence people in society. In conclusion, I firmly agree with learn our

childern

Correct your spelling

children

how to deal with cash and

open

Replace the word

opening

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

eyes for the future.

This

Linking Words

reflects directly on his personal

grwth

Correct your spelling

growth

, critical thinking, and

improve

Wrong verb form

improved

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility.

wedyanmassoud

Jan 12, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to use more specific examples and statistics to support your points. This could add depth and clarity to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your main ideas are clearly explained and followed through in each paragraph. It feels a bit disjointed at times.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence structure and grammar in some areas for clarity and fluidity. A few sections are a bit awkwardly phrased.

task achievement

The essay has a structured response to the prompt, with clear reasons supporting the main argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and align with the overall argument.

task achievement

The essay attempts to incorporate examples, which help demonstrate the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial responsibility
weekly allowances
budgeting
saving
financial management
spending choices
future goals
experiential learning
trial and error
funds
independence
decision making
delayed gratification
debt
financial woes
financial habits
overspending
undervaluing money

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than ever before. Why is this happening? What could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?
In modern times, the consumption of sugar-based drinks is becoming prevalent at an alarming rate, thereby harming public health in relation to weight and other aspects of well-being. This essay will detail the potential causes, along with possible solutions to curb this trend.
6.5
band
Write a letter to your friend about a book that you have read recently. Include the following in your letter: Describe the book. Why do you want him/her to read it? Tell him/her how to get the book.
How are you doing? I hope all is going well. Sorry I was not able to write sooner because I got hooked up with a book I found in our school library.
6.5
band
The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
Grange Park was opened in 1920, a rectangular area with access from Arnold Avenue on the north side and from Eldon Street on the south side. There was a fountain in the centre, with a stage for musicians situated centre left, a glasshouse to the right of the Eldon Street entrance and a pond for water plants in the northeast corner opposite. Around the edges of the, there were rose gardens, with seats nearby for people to smell the flowers and listen to music.
8
band
When a country becomes richer, the natural environment will suffer. It is not possible for a country to both develop its economy and protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The perspective which is trending among some people is that wealth has a reverse fashion on the environment because they think that when countries have good economic growth, then they destroy their environment. I do not subscribe to this idea owing to the fact that money creates a chance for governments to renew their old systems and use renewable resources.
8
band
Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Taking a year off from education between finishing school or college and going to university is a popular choice for young people. Generally speaking, doing so does not negatively affect their educational progress and, depending on how the time out is spent, can lead to invaluable experiences before moving into higher education.

some people think that giving children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future. To what extend agree or disagree

In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than ever before. Why is this happening? What could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

Write a letter to your friend about a book that you have read recently. Include the following in your letter: Describe the book. Why do you want him/her to read it? Tell him/her how to get the book.

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

When a country becomes richer, the natural environment will suffer. It is not possible for a country to both develop its economy and protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?