Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, other think this leads environmental problem, so air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years, cheap
air
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travel
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have
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has
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gained immense popularity.
While
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low-cost
air
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travel
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is believe
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is believed
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to have a negative impact on
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the evironmental
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evironmental
Correct your spelling
environment
, it offers not only financial benefits and
time
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efficient
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efficiency
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, those advantages outweigh these concerns. One major benefit of
low expense
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low-expense
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in
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apply
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air
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travel
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is its economic advantages.
In other words
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, lowering the price of travelling by
plane
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since lowering it will increase the number of passengers who are willing to
travel
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around the world.
For instance
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, some well-known airlines
such
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as
american airlines
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American Airlines
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, united and
delta
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Delta
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are
Verb problem
have
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decrease
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decreased
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their ticket price
therefore
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they can increase the
amount
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number
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of customers,
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this
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and this
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had help
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has helped
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them control 80% of the market.
This
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makes
air
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travel
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a vital factor in economics. Another
siginificant
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significant
advantage is the
efficient
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efficiency
show examples
in
time
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usage. To be more specific,
this
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will help people
travelling
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travel
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more faster and
convenient
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conveniently
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since in the past, travelling between continental
plate
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plates
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tend to
takes
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take
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at least 2-3 days.
For example
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, In
vietnam
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Vietnam
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,
by
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apply
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travelling from Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi will
takes
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take
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around 1 and a half
day
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days
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for
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by
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train and
around
Rephrase
apply
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only around 1 hour for
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plane
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the plane
a plane
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.
Thus
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, their
time
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efficiency makes them a smart choice for passengers.
On the other hand
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, some argue that cheap
air
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travel
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will increase
the
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apply
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usage,
those
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which
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will lead to
release
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the release
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more
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of more
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fuel
emmissions
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emissions
into the atmosphere.
This
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is because more
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plane
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planes
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are being
taken-off
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taken off
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and landed, it will emit more carbon dioxide into the
air
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.
However
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, modern
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plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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increased the fuel-efficiency up to 27%, reducing the carbon
emmissions
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emissions
.
Thus
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, the more developed the technology
are
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is
show examples
, the
lesser
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less
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fuel
are
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is
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
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reducing the ticket price may pose some detrimental
effect
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effects
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on
Correct article usage
the enviromental
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enviromental
Correct your spelling
environment
, it is believed that the financial advantage and decrease in travelling
time
Use synonyms
far outweigh these drawbacks. Ultimately, the advantages of cheap
air
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travel
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make them an indispensable choice for customers.
Submitted by AE Gay lord on

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task response
Clarify the introduction by clearly stating both sides of the argument and your opinion. At present, both sides are not clearly outlined, and the stance is only hinted at.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas within paragraphs are logically sequenced.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance cohesion with better linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task response
The essay presents clear arguments for both sides of the debate, fulfilling a key requirement of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and offers a clear opinion on the issue.
task response
A specific example of the time efficiency of air travel between Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi is relevant and well-integrated into the argument about time efficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Democratic travel
  • Global diversity
  • Economic benefits
  • Service sector
  • Educational travel
  • International relationships
  • Carbon emissions
  • Global warming
  • Climate crisis
  • Overtourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sustainable aviation
  • Carbon offset
  • Global inequality
  • Airline industry
  • Economic downturn
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