IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world with serious results for the environment, what do you think can be done to solve this problem, support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#deforestation #activity #parts #world #results #environment #support
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There is no denying the fact that cutting down
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 will affect on ecosystem.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
deforestation
Use synonyms
 occurs
by
Change preposition
because of
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 activity in
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the world, which
shoulde
Correct your spelling
should
 be
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 from logging, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that should be on the government to improve the countryside, that means to reduce from transfers
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to the city and
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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 the countryside.
To begin
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 with,
deforestation
Use synonyms
 has a highly adverse effect
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 life forms both terrestrial and aquatic.
In other words
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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logging will lead to
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals, insects, microorganisms as well and aquatic.
In addition
Linking Words
, should
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
 from
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon that
during put
Change preposition
by putting
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 some laws for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
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 down
trees
Use synonyms
 and use
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 wood, must pay
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if the folk or company cut one
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tree should plant three
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
through put
Change preposition
by putting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 contract between them. Another point to consider,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to erode. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that cutting down
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to reduce myriad
trees
Use synonyms
 from forests and
thus
Linking Words
 will decrease from numerous of foresters.
Moreover
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, to search about solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government found a better
solve
Replace the word
solution
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
put a red zone in the forests to control and reduce
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
logging.
For instance
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, if the
people
Use synonyms
 or companies pass on the green line, they will take a fine. Must them to
wait
Add the particle
wait to
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 grow these plants and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 next time. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that
should be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the government take into consideration woodlands
as well as
Linking Words
put
Verb problem
pass
show examples
 laws to reduce
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the oxygen cycle will
be decrease
Change the verb form
be decreased
show examples
.
Submitted by zainabras98 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure for better clarity. Some sentences are grammatically awkward, making the message less clear.
task achievement
Use more precise vocabulary to enhance clarity and expression. Ambiguous terms can affect the reader's understanding of your argument.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates understanding of the task by addressing both the causes and potential solutions for deforestation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay with relevant points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • sustainable living
  • ecosystem balance
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • illegal logging
  • land clearing
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • agroforestry
  • conservation efforts
  • economic incentives
  • technological innovations
  • forest management
What to do next:
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