IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Can George's decision from the novel "Of Mice and Men" be justified?

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At the end
Linking Words
 of the novel “Of Mice and Men”, George
took
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 the life of his friend. In my opinion, killing Lennie was inevitable, as it meant freeing
from
Correct pronoun usage
them from
him from
her from
show examples
 the run from one
place
Use synonyms
 to another and
also
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 in some way giving peace to his friend, who was like a big child. Throughout the story, we
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
notice how much he
cared
Wrong verb form
cares
show examples
 about Lennie’s
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
. On multiple occasions we were able to see how easier life would be for George if not for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 with a friend: “I could get along so easy and so nice if I didn't have you on my tail”. Sometimes George even acted
his
Change preposition
like his
show examples
 father, strict, but caring. I think, even the
last
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 scene was his act of mercy, as somewhere deep in
the
Change the word
his
show examples
 soul he always knew that there
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be no
such
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
, where Lennie
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be safe and welcome. He knew that people from town
won’t
Correct your spelling
wouldn’t
 be leaving them in peace and Curley
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 find them no matter where they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 to get his revenge. So by shooting him, he saved him from a crueler fate that was waiting for him in case he would get into the ranch's people. Despite that, there was a possibility to go on another run and again search for a
place
Use synonyms
 to stay, hiding from Curley.
This
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 action had huge risks and in case they were caught together both of them would be killed without any chance for explanation.
Also
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, even if they would succeed
this
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 wouldn't mean that the same thing won't happen all over again, like it did in Weed.
Therefore
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 it would simply prolong their sufferings. In conclusion, I believe that we can justify what he did, as in the unforgiving world they lived in, there will be no more
place
Use synonyms
 for them to live calmly.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and flows smoothly to the next. Adding more transitional phrases could enhance this flow.
Task Achievement
Include more specific textual evidence or quotes to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
Task Achievement
Ideas are presented clearly and consistently, maintaining the reader's engagement.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively tackles the essay prompt, delivering a comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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