Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
It is argued that young and less experienced workers should alter old and experienced
individuals
. I completely contend with Use synonyms
this
statement and think that experienced Linking Words
ones
are too important for replacement.
First of all, workers have a vast array of abilities and aspects, which may be only achieved with years of hard work, and, Use synonyms
thus
, they have a significant role. If they are replaced with less experienced Linking Words
ones
, the industry will be disrupted and can no longer function as before since they are the only Use synonyms
ones
Use synonyms
that
can manage complex problems and obstacles that Correct pronoun usage
who
this
industry faces. Linking Words
For example
, with the highest valuation on the global market, Google mostly prefers to preserve their experienced workers in the Linking Words
company
, creating all necessary conditions for them, Use synonyms
such
as high salaries and comfortable workspaces.
Linking Words
Secondly
, inexperienced young Linking Words
individuals
are prone to errors, which can be vital for any Use synonyms
company
in any realm, because of their lack of knowledge. Indeed, they possibly can not handle the hard problems that organizations usually face. These erroneous actions may cost very big money for a Use synonyms
company
, and, Use synonyms
consequently
, they may lead to bankruptcy. Many corporations can not take these risks and prefer to hire a small proportion of recently graduated Linking Words
individuals
.
Use synonyms
For example
, recently, there has been a major crisis in IT systems, as many computers with the Windows operating system stopped enabling properly. Linking Words
Then
, a tiny error in the syntax of the code, which was made by a new intern, provoked mass disruption in many industries, Linking Words
such
as air travel, and cost billions of dollars.
In conclusion, experienced Linking Words
individuals
play a vital role in the functioning of many organizations and should not be replaced with young and inexperienced Use synonyms
ones
since they tend to make some errors, which may have extremely negative results for a Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
Submitted by Magzhan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could be improved by ensuring that the introduction clearly outlines your position and the focus of your arguments. Currently, the introduction is a bit short and does not present a clear thesis statement.
task achievement
Try to add more detailed examples or explanations to further clarify and support your points. Providing more specific details can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples that illustrate your points effectively, such as the Google example and the IT systems crisis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas, separated into paragraphs addressing different arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.