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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The increasing trend of buying second-hand clothes and items is a positive development for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#trend #clothes #items #development #society
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Second-hand
clothes
Use synonyms
 or as we call it
hand me
Verb problem
,
show examples
 downs or pre-loved
clothes
Use synonyms
 are one of the best
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 that have ever
invented
Add a missing verb
been invented
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. People selling
clothes
Use synonyms
 that won't fit them, not being used for a long time or just
considered
Add a missing verb
being considered
show examples
 junk for extra cash is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way of making space in the closet or getting a new way of income. But would
this
Linking Words
 really be a positive development for society? Many people would say yes, and others might say no. But for me, I would say I'm 50-50.
This
Linking Words
 selling of old
clothes
Use synonyms
 would mean a lot to
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 selling the
clothes
Use synonyms
, but in my point of view if I'm
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the receiving end, what would happen to the
clothes
Use synonyms
 I bought, if I stopped using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
? Would I be able to sell it again? What if I didn't? Would
this
Linking Words
 be junk, another space eater, or even garbage? So I disagree it's a positive development for society, not only as it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 more waste,
getting
Correct word choice
but getting
show examples
 rid of it needs a lot of carbon
foot print
Correct your spelling
footprint
show examples
 too. There are still ways
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to prevent pre-loved
clothes
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 becoming trash, we could donate it to shelters that would give it to homeless people or maybe give it to relatives
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 might find some use of it. In the end, every single
Use synonyms
clothes
Fix the agreement mistake
item of clothing
show examples
 should be used and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
valued extremely and maybe thinking twice if you need to buy it would be a perfect step to wasting resources and money.
Submitted by rachelle.ann.roldan on

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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that you provide a clearly structured argument that addresses all parts of the prompt. Add more examples and elaborate on your points to build a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences, and connect your paragraphs with appropriate linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
You presented a balanced view on the issue, considering both positive and negative aspects of buying second-hand clothes.
coherence cohesion
You made good use of questions to engage the reader and make your stance clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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