Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Changing
occcupation
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occupation
in
a
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apply
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every couple years become the trend among
teenagers
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recently. Because of the
teenagers
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need to search for their dream
job
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and the working
experiance
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experience
.It
is agree
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is agreed
show examples
that the benefit is more
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Change preposition
than then
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then
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the
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drawback for
teenagers
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. Changing
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years can increase the
oppotunity
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opportunity
of finding
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
job
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.For
fresh
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a fresh
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graduate
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graduates
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,it is a
cheallge
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challenge
for them to
looking
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look
show examples
for
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Add an article
a job
show examples
job
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jobs
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that
are
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is
show examples
subitable
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suitable
for them .Because they have no idea about their
strengthen
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strengths
show examples
and weakness in the workplace . Trying different positions
allow
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allows
show examples
them to understand more about
themselves
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their
show examples
preferences. Young people can gain
a
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apply
show examples
enthusiasm and passion
from
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for
show examples
the
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their
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dream
job
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and look for their career path more easily .
Moreover
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, it allows them to obtain more
skill
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skills
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and
working
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work
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experience.Nowadays, many companies want
applicatents
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applicants
applications
to have multiple skills and working experience .
Teenagers
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can learn skills through
they
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their
show examples
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
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more
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in more
show examples
difffernet
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different
occupation
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occupations
show examples
sush
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such
as
commmunitcation
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communication
and teamwork skills .Those are
vouleable
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valuable
vulnerable
for employment
makent
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market
making
and lead teenager more
comptitive
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competitive
among the
applicatents
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applications
applicants
. In conclusion, it is noticed that changing
job
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allow
teenager
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a teenager
the teenager
show examples
to
accumete
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accumulate
accurate
their working experience and find their ideal
job
Use synonyms
.
This
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benefit for
teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
show examples
future career path.
Submitted by chanwingyan095 on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and help achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Ensure the main points are well-developed and thoroughly explained. Currently, the points feel a bit underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions and ensure that ideas within paragraphs flow logically from one to the next to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is present, but it needs a stronger summary of the main arguments discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Good understanding of the topic and relevant issues faced by young people changing jobs frequently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career mobility
  • job-hopping
  • gig economy
  • professional growth
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • job security
  • long-term employment
  • work history
  • deep expertise
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • right fit
  • skill set
  • diverse experiences
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