IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 line chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the changes in
Correct article usage
the onwership
show examples
onwership
Correct your spelling
ownership
 of
elecctrical applicances
Correct your spelling
electrical appliances
 and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. In the first graph, we can see the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of households with electrical appliances. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 was 0% in 190,
then
Linking Words
 it increased fast to 90% in 1960,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
stayed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 between 1980 and 2019. About the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Vacuum
clearner
Correct your spelling
cleaner
, it was 30% in1920, it was growth to 100% in 2000,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 remained constant in 2019. About the refrigerator, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 was 40% in 1920, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased first and
then
Linking Words
 decreased, it was at the top at 70% in 1960, at the bottom at 60% in1980. It was increased to 75% from 1980 to 2019. In the
second,
Linking Words
we can see the
number
Use synonyms
 of hours of housework
everyweek
Correct your spelling
every week
 in
ever
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
 home.The
number
Use synonyms
 of hours was about 50
h
Correct your spelling
hours
 in 1920.
Then
Linking Words
 it
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 rapidly between 1920 to 1980. The
number
Use synonyms
 was 15h in 1980. The
number
Use synonyms
 remained stable between 1980 and 2019. The
number
Use synonyms
 was about 15h . It was at
bottom
Add an article
the bottom
show examples
 at 12h in 2019. In conclusion. the trend of
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of households with all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
electrical appliances increased between 1920 and 2019.The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 increased fastest. The trend of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of hours of housework
decliened
Correct your spelling
declined
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, number, h with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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