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Writing Samples
Band 5

Country are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#country #people #products #world #development
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In recent days, we can easily purchase
products
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 across the world. We became similar
due to
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this
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 phenomenon and now countries are getting look alike. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development. In
this
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 essay, I'm going to explain it for two reasons.  
Firstly
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, in the perspective of cultural relativism, each of cultures has their own values
,
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apply
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 and must be evaluated by the context. But
procrustean
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the procrustean
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 bed of cultures harmed our own values. From my experiences, I used to see a lot of Korean store signs on the road. But year after year, many foreign
products
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 and companies were deeply rooted in our culture. So now I could barely see Korean signs on the road.  
Secondly
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, The economic impact of increased availability of global
products
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 can lead to local businesses struggling to compete with international corporations, which may result in economic disparities and loss of local employment opportunities.
For example
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, we can eat American sandwiches for breakfast, and wear a Korean wool jacket to go on a date.
This
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 means we can easily approach
products
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 from another country. It can hinder the activation of local businesses.   To summarise, getting kinds of stuff from various countries can harm cultural relativism because it can harm the value of our cultures.
Also
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, we can't ignore the impact on our local businesses.
Submitted by ihjung2000 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, consider including a more diverse range of examples and elaborating on how they support your main arguments. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the question.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This can be facilitated by using linking phrases or words that express sequence or addition.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The task is addressed well, with a direct response to the question about whether the globalization of products is positive or negative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural homogenization
  • unique cultural identities
  • cultural diversity
  • consumer choice
  • economic impact
  • international corporations
  • economic disparities
  • local employment opportunities
  • knowledge exchange
  • cultural understanding
  • global unity
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainability
  • standardization
  • quality and safety standards
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