IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

(an essay) Many people believe that it is easier to lead a healthy lifestyle (in the countryside). Others believe that there are (health benefits to living in cities). Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities
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well in my
personall
Correct your spelling
personal
 opinion
this
Linking Words
 is very depends on several aspects. At
first
Add a comma
first,
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 what do we think of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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lifestyle
Use synonyms
, if we think that it is about being closer to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
breath
Replace the word
breathing
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh air, eat natural products
that
Correct your spelling
then
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 indeed it's
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier to lead a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 in the countryside.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 if we think it is about being disciplined,
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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 a balanced diet, being surrounded by good people and
have
Wrong verb form
having
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a healthy relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
a healthy relationship
healthy relationships
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it is
deffinetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 easier to have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 in the living cities, since it is easier to find the food that applicable for your diet, use all the
infrastracture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as gyms, parks, medicine etc.. So
in conclusion
Add the comma(s)
, in conclusion,
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 I would say that it is purely up to the person
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if he or she is willing to lead a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 that it is equally same whether you live in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 or in living cities.
Submitted by tkrustemac on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body arguments, and conclusion. This enhances readability and clarity.
task achievement
Clarify your points with specific examples or experiences, which can strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion accurately summarizes your argument and is aligned with the points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view of both perspectives, which is a good approach to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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