IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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In modern times,the issue of teenagers has become an essential part of our societies.It is believed that unpaid community works done by adolescents in their leisure time have good merits for both the nation and young people.I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will support it with evidence in my writing . First and foremost , engaging in
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 provides a variety of advantages for teenagers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can help ensure a strong sense of personality and empathy.
secondly
Linking Words
, juveniles
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 more working in
area
Add an article
the area
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 will feel plenty of responsibility and get more confident,To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,when I was in my school, our best teacher told us to clean the garden of my school together and plant some bits of
flower
Fix the agreement mistake
flowers
show examples
,
This
Linking Words
 is gain or develop valuable life skill likes, teamwork, leadership and problem -solving .So workers in
society
Use synonyms
 provide teenagers
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
 opportunity to
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
connect to understand their social problems.
However
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that working in a nation evolute teenagers’ mental health and well-being.Many adolescents conflict with some life challenges ,
for example
Linking Words
, stress isolation and having free time without doing anything.To more explain,In my town ,some
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteers are doing
society
Use synonyms
 projects with not unpaid.They have a good physical body and mental.
Therefore
Linking Words
,It depends on the cooperation of
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective , it is evident that juveniles and societies have more benefits when they cooperate and work together in
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
 time. If the community does not exchange their ideas and experiences,they will not develop a new interest in their lives .
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between your paragraphs and main points. Use linking words or phrases to smoothly transition from one idea to another.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a good structure overall.
task achievement
You effectively express agreement with the statement and provide reasons for your viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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