People nowadays tend to have children later in life. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Aisu
In these
days humans tend to have newborns later in their lifetime. Change preposition
These
While
there are some drawbacks to Linking Words
this
trend, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In their younger Linking Words
years
, people achieve financial stability and gain more Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
experience
, Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
if they have a child late, it may pose health challenges for women.
During their early Add a comma
however,
years
, people accumulate valuable Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
experience
, which helps them feel more ready for Use synonyms
responsibilities
of parenthood. Adults who choose to have children at an older age often have established careers and they are financially more secure.Correct article usage
the responsibilities
This
allows them to provide better opportunities and a more stable environment for their children. Linking Words
For instance
, in some Linking Words
countries
people decide to have Add a comma
countries,
a children
in their 30-4- Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
years
. The Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
experience
and maturity of older parents help them approach parenting with greater awareness, patience , and understanding of the importance of family harmony.
In conclusion, nowadays it is an actual theme in our society. In their younger Use synonyms
years
, individuals build financial stability and accumulate Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
experience
; Use synonyms
however
, having a child later in Linking Words
life
can present health risks for women.Use synonyms
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task response, make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages explicitly. You've focused mainly on the advantages, so briefly acknowledging the disadvantages would enhance balance in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are well-supported with specific examples. For instance, you could elaborate on how financial stability can specifically benefit children's development.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. Using connecting phrases more effectively in transitions between paragraphs could help enhance the continuity and flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction outlines a clear argument about the trend of having children later in life and sets the tone for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing your position.
task achievement
You successfully recognize the importance of life experience and financial stability as advantages to having children later in life.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite