IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People nowadays tend to have children later in life. Kasiyet Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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People nowadays prefer to have
children
Use synonyms
late
Rephrase
later
show examples
 in
life
Use synonyms
. It helps to live your own
life
Use synonyms
 more than other couples or just youth
life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 when you
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
just chill and spend your all energy
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 something else, in old age,
Correct pronoun usage
your organism
show examples
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
show examples
 will
be work
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 worse and you will just have some problems with your health. Significant advantages to
start
Change the verb form
starting
show examples
 up your family
life
Use synonyms
 later
as usual
Add the comma(s)
, as usual,
show examples
 can give you more freedom just for several years. You will spend your time more with your love and
is being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 prepared
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 family
life
Use synonyms
 together. Later pregnancy can help save your body in good tones.
Also
Linking Words
, later pregnancy is
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
beneficial for just
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 more about
children
Use synonyms
 , about psychology, upbringing and something else. More people would argue with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because all of the above in the future could save your child’s
psych
Correct your spelling
psyche
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays more families have one and more mentally unstable
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
 because in our century every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 had
USSR
Correct article usage
a USSR
show examples
 upbringing.
Also
Linking Words
 very big injuries. All of
this
Linking Words
 influences
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your future
children
Use synonyms
’s psyche. The biggest disadvantages will have with your health. Problem with age, organism,
physically active
Replace the word
physical activity
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 can get infertility but it
unlikely
Add a missing verb
is unlikely
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people who prefer having
children
Use synonyms
 later, just could
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 their time.
For example
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
statistically
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 in 20 s give
birth
Use synonyms
easily
Correct quantifier usage
more easily
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 in 30-40
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. Nowadays
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 give
birth
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
 age, now cannot give
birth
Use synonyms
 naturally.
To conclude
Linking Words
, everyone can
decade
Correct your spelling
decide
show examples
 for themselves when having
children
Use synonyms
, but everyone until today
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
 give
birth
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
to children
show examples
 earlier.

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points have enough examples and details to clearly convey your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay requires a stronger introduction that outlines the main arguments to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
task achievement
You have included both advantages and disadvantages, which contributes to a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
You’ve done well to conclude your essay by summarizing your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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