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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we shoud tru to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life #shoud #tru
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There is a common debate that comes out when people discuss
about
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how they should act towards each other, being whether competition or cooperation is more beneficial
more
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in our
day to day
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day-to-day
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 life. There is a common misconception where most
belive
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believe
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 that competing with each other is an unhealthy way of doing things as it causes stress on the individual
with
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it
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ending up with only one coming out as victorious, but there can
also
Linking Words
 be friendly challenges.
Me personally
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Personally
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, I do enjoy having some competition because it allows me to constantly reflect and improve on where I went wrong
as well as
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 being used as a way to measure my skills and knowledge.
Moreover
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, competing with others can
also
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 give a sense of thrill and exhilaration always wanting to win. Because of
this
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,
it
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we
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ends
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end
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 up with more motivation to excel at what we do.
On the other hand
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, we as social beings cannot live on our own.
Hence
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, there will always come a time
where
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when
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 we need help from
such
Linking Words
 as our peers, colleagues, and family,
for instance
Linking Words
 in a massive project at work, a group project at school,
as well as
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 something as little as moving things around the house. Another benefit is that every one of us can gain new information just by interacting and working with others as long as we are open to advice. With all being said, I do believe that there are
noticable
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noticeable
 amounts of pros to both sides where there needs to be a balance in incorporating them in our lives. We can't live without social collaboration yet there should still be a competitive spirit inside us.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the question by discussing both viewpoints, try to allocate equal attention to each perspective to ensure a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow between your ideas, making the argument more cohesive.
task achievement
The examples provided could be more specific and varied to strengthen the argument and make it more relatable.
task achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion neatly ties together your viewpoint, supporting the idea of balanced competition and cooperation.
task achievement
The essay includes reflective and personal insight, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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