people sleep less than they used to in the past. what do you think is the reason behind this? what are the effects on them?

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People sleep fewer
hours
Use synonyms
than they did many years ago.
This
Linking Words
is because we tend to work longer
hours
Use synonyms
compared to do in the past and
this
Linking Words
results in fatigue. Every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to sleep less compared to the past because they are expected to work more.
This
Linking Words
is because the job market is more competitive than ever before and workers have to get more done or they may fall behind or be replaced by someone else.
This
Linking Words
means that they have to get up early and do not return home until late in the evening,
thus
Linking Words
cutting into their sleep cycle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they do not have time to relax and
this
Linking Words
disrupt
Change the verb form
disrupts
show examples
their sleep pattern.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study showed that the average employee
works
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
2.4
hours
Use synonyms
more than the average worker in the 1970s. The primary effect of
this
Linking Words
widespread chronic fatigue.
That is
Linking Words
to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
large sections of the population do not get 8
hours
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
results in a high percentage of them being too tired to live their lives effectively.
This
Linking Words
could mean that they underperform at work, are more irritable with those around them or could even have health problems.
For example
Linking Words
, the Golden State Warriors basketball team employed a sleep expert and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studied players who
sleep
Wrong verb form
slept
show examples
for more than 9
hours
Use synonyms
a night and compared than with those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
only got 6, and the results showed that
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
slept less had more injuries and actually performed worse in the ground. In conclusion, people are more sleep deprived than in previous generations
due to
Linking Words
longer
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
show examples
in their workplace and the effect is that many of them
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
tired
due to
Linking Words
the exhaustion.
Submitted by engineerkhushbu97 on

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task response
When discussing issues like sleep deprivation, it's important to offer a focused analysis on both reasons and effects, addressing possible solutions if applicable.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points or ideas. This helps maintain a logical flow to your essay.
task response
To enhance clarity, frequently check for grammatical errors and sentence construction issues.
task response
The essay identifies a clear reason for the reduction in sleep hours: longer work hours and increased job market competition.
relevant specific examples
Real-world examples, like the study on employees and the Golden State Warriors basketball team, effectively support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable, providing a cohesive start and finish to the points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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