IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments sshould focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Populus are
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the notion that governing bodies should aim
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 resources towards
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 pollution and
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
 crisis, to
combat
Use synonyms
spread
Add an article
the spread
show examples
 of diseases and prevent illness, i agree with the
people
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should implement
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 measures,
however
Linking Words
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should not be the only body to put effort into
this
Linking Words
, it is a nationwide responsiblity to fight for habitable enviroment.
firslty
Correct your spelling
firstly
first
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that authorities should
layout
Correct your spelling
lay out
show examples
 a plan on how they will tackle
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues, in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 the prime
misiter
Correct your spelling
minister
 introduced
"
Correct article usage
the "clean
show examples
clean
Capitalize word
Clean
show examples
 India green
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
"
program
Use synonyms
 that motivated the citizen to clean
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 surrounding
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little by little every day, record it and upload it to the
nation
Use synonyms
 website.
This
Linking Words
 initiative
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 popularity very quickly and a number of
people
Use synonyms
 started
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 journey to clean their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
, it has to be said that,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 cannot alone attack the problem, but we as a
unite
Change the form of the verb
united
show examples
nation
Use synonyms
 can bring a change for the betterment of the future. Another way is to introduce a reward challenge, a
program
Use synonyms
 that rewards
people
Use synonyms
 who
cleans
Change the verb form
clean
show examples
 their area, which needs some attention
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
document the process and submit
this
Linking Words
 to the local authorities will receive a reward for their contribution to society.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should invest more in
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 housing and should start
Correct article usage
a
show examples
"second chance
program
Use synonyms
", which will allow the homeless person to seek a
selther
Correct your spelling
shelter
seltzer
 and
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity to get back on their feet, by helping them find a job
for example
Linking Words
, a job in sanitary
program
Use synonyms
 or in area which will
also
Linking Words
 help the
nation
Use synonyms
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 cleanliness, and plant more trees. any
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
 that will help the homeless person
as well as
Linking Words
 the
nation
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
 way we will be
tackleing
Correct your spelling
tackling
 two
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 with one solution.
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 task is easier said
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 done, there is a reason that we need
such
Linking Words
 programs to
combat
Use synonyms
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
, and the reason is
accountibility
Correct your spelling
accountability
 and awareness, most of the
people
Use synonyms
 who are unaware of the proper way to
dispose
Add the preposition
dispose of
show examples
 will litter in public and probably are not aware of the 3Rs- reuse,recycle,repeat. If an individual start taking
reposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reducing
pollutent
Correct your spelling
pollutants
 rather
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 creating more there is a chance we can as a team
combat
Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 dangerous issues.
to conclude
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 as a team, if we all put
effort
Change preposition
in effort
show examples
 we can
combat
Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues, little by little over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time compounding our work we will achieve a place which is clean and green, which our upcoming generation will need and deserve.

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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a general response. However, it would be beneficial to more clearly establish the extent of agreement or disagreement and consistently support this stance throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas by structuring paragraphs more clearly, including topic sentences, and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main point. This can enhance the reader's understanding.
Task Response
Aim to further develop ideas to ensure depth in arguments. Specific examples are effectively used, but expanding on explanations and linking them more clearly to the main argument would strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to clarity and coherence within sentences. Ensure pronoun use and reference markers are clear to avoid confusing the reader.
Task Achievement
You have incorporated relevant examples, such as the 'Clean India Green India' initiative, which effectively illustrates your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing and restating your points effectively.
Task Achievement
A commendable attempt is made to propose practical solutions, which demonstrates critical thinking.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental pollution
  • housing problems
  • prevent illness
  • disease prevention
  • public health
  • respiratory diseases
  • health-related issues
  • living conditions
  • mental health
  • green spaces
  • clean energy
  • physical activity
  • overcrowded housing
  • quality of life
  • healthcare costs
  • cost-effective
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