Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments sshould focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #sshould #focus #pollution

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Populus are

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apply

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the notion that governing bodies should aim

there

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their

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resources towards

enviromental

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environmental

pollution and

housing

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the housing

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crisis, to

combat

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spread

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the spread

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of diseases and prevent illness, i agree with the

people

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that

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Correct article usage

the goverment

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goverment

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government

should implement

Linking Words

this

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these

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measures,

however

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Use synonyms

goverment

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government

should not be the only body to put effort into

this

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, it is a nationwide responsiblity to fight for habitable enviroment.

firslty

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firstly

first

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believe that authorities should

layout

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lay out

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a plan on how they will tackle

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues, in

india

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India

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the prime

misiter

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minister

introduced

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the "clean

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clean

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Clean

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India green

india

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India

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program

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that motivated the citizen to clean

there

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their

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surrounding

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apply

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little by little every day, record it and upload it to the

nation

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website.

This

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initiative

gain

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gained

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popularity very quickly and a number of

people

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started

there

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their

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journey to clean their

surrounding

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surroundings

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, it has to be said that,

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Correct article usage

the goverment

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goverment

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government

cannot alone attack the problem, but we as a

unite

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united

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nation

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can bring a change for the betterment of the future. Another way is to introduce a reward challenge, a

program

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that rewards

people

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who

cleans

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clean

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their area, which needs some attention

and

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apply

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document the process and submit

this

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to the local authorities will receive a reward for their contribution to society.

Moreover

Linking Words

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Correct article usage

the nation

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nation

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nation's

show examples

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goverment

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government

should invest more in

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goverment

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government

housing and should start

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show examples

"second chance

program

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", which will allow the homeless person to seek a

selther

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shelter

seltzer

and

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show examples

opportunity to get back on their feet, by helping them find a job

for example

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, a job in sanitary

program

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or in area which will

also

Linking Words

help the

nation

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acheive

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achieve

cleanliness, and plant more trees. any

man power

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manpower

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that will help the homeless person

as well as

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the

nation

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this

Linking Words

way we will be

tackleing

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tackling

two

problem

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problems

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with one solution.

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

task is easier said

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then

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than

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done, there is a reason that we need

such

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programs to

combat

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pollutions

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pollution

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, and the reason is

accountibility

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accountability

and awareness, most of the

people

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who are unaware of the proper way to

dispose

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dispose of

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will litter in public and probably are not aware of the 3Rs- reuse,recycle,repeat. If an individual start taking

reposibility

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responsibility

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for

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reducing

pollutent

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pollutants

rather

Linking Words

then

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than

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creating more there is a chance we can as a team

combat

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Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

dangerous issues.

to conclude

Linking Words

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show examples

belive

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believe

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as a team, if we all put

effort

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in effort

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we can

combat

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Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues, little by little over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time compounding our work we will achieve a place which is clean and green, which our upcoming generation will need and deserve.

Submitted by bhat.shweta17 on Mon Jan 13 2025

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Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a general response. However, it would be beneficial to more clearly establish the extent of agreement or disagreement and consistently support this stance throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a logical flow of ideas by structuring paragraphs more clearly, including topic sentences, and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main point. This can enhance the reader's understanding.

Task Response

Aim to further develop ideas to ensure depth in arguments. Specific examples are effectively used, but expanding on explanations and linking them more clearly to the main argument would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to clarity and coherence within sentences. Ensure pronoun use and reference markers are clear to avoid confusing the reader.

Task Achievement

You have incorporated relevant examples, such as the 'Clean India Green India' initiative, which effectively illustrates your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing and restating your points effectively.

Task Achievement

A commendable attempt is made to propose practical solutions, which demonstrates critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

407 words

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments sshould focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?