some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schols. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some individuals in our society support the view that in education genders can be separated from each other and not get
teached
in the same area.Correct your spelling
taught
However
, others believe that Linking Words
this
idea makes no sense and being Linking Words
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
at
the same class would not affect their performance.
On the one hand, Change preposition
in
currently
in our Add a comma
currently,
world
it is common that in many countries the government mostly built mixed Add a comma
world,
schools
that every gender can attend.The main reason for Use synonyms
that is
,in order to create gender equality in both public and academic places huge amount of nations follow Linking Words
this
trend.Linking Words
Therefore
,especially in the Linking Words
USA
approximately 90% of the Add a comma
USA,
schools
are Use synonyms
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
for
Change preposition
of
this
situation and most of the kids are pleased with that case because they can socialize and improve their communication skills with both Linking Words
parts
.Correct your spelling
parties
As a result
, those youngster learns the major Linking Words
informations
about how to treat Change the wording
information
pieces of information
a
opposite gender.
Correct article usage
the
On the other hand
, in Turkey, certain Linking Words
schools
' main opinion is that different genders can distract each other if they get educated in the same school.Use synonyms
Thus
, they could not focus on their precious subjects given in the classroom.Linking Words
Moreover
,they could not give Linking Words
the
enough amount of value to their homework or projects and that issue could cause negative outcomes for them.Nowadays, seeing special Remove the article
apply
schools
just for boys or girls Use synonyms
are
not consideredCorrect subject-verb agreement
is
as
Change preposition
apply
a
extraordinary situation in the city of İstanbul and we can’t ignore the fact most of those Change the article
an
schools
are significantly successful.
İn conclusion, both views can be logical in their own way but since we are in the Use synonyms
21th
century I personally believe that mixed Change the ending
21st
schools
are more suitable for the model of today's modern education system.Use synonyms
Submitted by muratberkel on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details. Consider using more paragraph transitions to better connect ideas.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support the arguments presented. This could make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct any grammatical or spelling errors. This can enhance clarity and understanding.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay well, reinforcing your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to use connectives and some transitions between sentences and ideas, which helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?