some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schols. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals in our society support the view that in education genders can be separated from each other and not get
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
in the same area.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that
this
Linking Words
idea makes no sense and being
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same class would not affect their performance. On the one hand,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
show examples
in our
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
it is common that in many countries the government mostly built mixed
schools
Use synonyms
that every gender can attend.The main reason for
that is
Linking Words
,in order to create gender equality in both public and academic places huge amount of nations follow
this
Linking Words
trend.
Therefore
Linking Words
,especially in the
USA
Add a comma
USA,
show examples
approximately 90% of the
schools
Use synonyms
are
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation and most of the kids are pleased with that case because they can socialize and improve their communication skills with both
parts
Correct your spelling
parties
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, those youngster learns the major
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
about how to treat
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opposite gender.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in Turkey, certain
schools
Use synonyms
' main opinion is that different genders can distract each other if they get educated in the same school.
Thus
Linking Words
, they could not focus on their precious subjects given in the classroom.
Moreover
Linking Words
,they could not give
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough amount of value to their homework or projects and that issue could cause negative outcomes for them.Nowadays, seeing special
schools
Use synonyms
just for boys or girls
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
extraordinary situation in the city of İstanbul and we can’t ignore the fact most of those
schools
Use synonyms
are significantly successful. İn conclusion, both views can be logical in their own way but since we are in the
21th
Change the ending
21st
show examples
century I personally believe that mixed
schools
Use synonyms
are more suitable for the model of today's modern education system.
Submitted by muratberkel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details. Consider using more paragraph transitions to better connect ideas.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support the arguments presented. This could make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct any grammatical or spelling errors. This can enhance clarity and understanding.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay well, reinforcing your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to use connectives and some transitions between sentences and ideas, which helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: