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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schols. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some individuals in our society support the view that in education genders can be separated from each other and not get
teached
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taught
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 in the same area.
However
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, others believe that
this
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 idea makes no sense and being
teached
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taught
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at
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in
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 the same class would not affect their performance. On the one hand,
currently
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currently,
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 in our
world
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world,
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 it is common that in many countries the government mostly built mixed
schools
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 that every gender can attend.The main reason for
that is
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,in order to create gender equality in both public and academic places huge amount of nations follow
this
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 trend.
Therefore
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,especially in the
USA
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USA,
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 approximately 90% of the
schools
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 are
example
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examples
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for
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of
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this
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 situation and most of the kids are pleased with that case because they can socialize and improve their communication skills with both
parts
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parties
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.
As a result
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, those youngster learns the major
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about how to treat
a
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the
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 opposite gender.
On the other hand
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, in Turkey, certain
schools
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' main opinion is that different genders can distract each other if they get educated in the same school.
Thus
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, they could not focus on their precious subjects given in the classroom.
Moreover
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,they could not give
the
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apply
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enough amount of value to their homework or projects and that issue could cause negative outcomes for them.Nowadays, seeing special
schools
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 just for boys or girls
are
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is
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 not considered
as
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apply
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a
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an
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 extraordinary situation in the city of İstanbul and we can’t ignore the fact most of those
schools
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 are significantly successful. İn conclusion, both views can be logical in their own way but since we are in the
21th
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21st
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 century I personally believe that mixed
schools
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 are more suitable for the model of today's modern education system.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details. Consider using more paragraph transitions to better connect ideas.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support the arguments presented. This could make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct any grammatical or spelling errors. This can enhance clarity and understanding.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay well, reinforcing your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to use connectives and some transitions between sentences and ideas, which helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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