IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Your son’s elementary school provides free lunches to the children. Recently, one child experienced an allergic reaction to the food. The principle of the school has decided to reevaluate the lunch program and is asking for parents’ input.

In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents should prepare
food
Use synonyms
 for their
children
Use synonyms
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of two main reasons. The first reason is that the homemade
food
Use synonyms
 is healthy.
For example
Linking Words
, they know how much oil they
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 in the
food
Use synonyms
 or the quality of the meal.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
food
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 which is prepared at home is
more
Change the word
apply
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healthier than the
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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. The second reason is that the parents know what kind of
integrinet
Correct your spelling
internet
 they
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 in the
food
Use synonyms
 and their
children
Use synonyms
 don't have any
allergics
Correct your spelling
allergies
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 to them. So, it makes them calm and they
don't
Verb problem
are not
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about their
children
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. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 hand, some people believe that it is economic because the school lunches
is
Change the verb form
are
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 free. But, if you don't take the meal you pay less when you want to register your
children
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homemade
food
Use synonyms
 is worth
Correct pronoun usage
it beacause
show examples
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of two major reasons
such
Linking Words
 as being healthy and making the parents
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
calm
while
Linking Words
 their
children
Use synonyms
 are in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention any studies or reports that demonstrate the benefits of homemade food over school lunches.
task achievement
Try to refine your language for improved clarity. Focus on sentence structure and word choice to enhance the comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on reducing grammatical inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement and word choice ('more healthier' should be 'healthier', 'integrinet' should be 'ingredient').
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a clear position regarding the importance of homemade food for children.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which present a clear argument and summary of points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The arguments presented are clear and logically follow one another, making the essay easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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